Career and lifestyle coaching for success.
  • Home
  • Testimonials
  • About me
    • My tools
  • GIRAFFE DREAMS
  • Working together
    • UnRut-ify Me! >
      • A Confidence Anchor
    • Programmes and Workshops >
      • Personal Coaching
      • Kick-aspirational coaching
      • Public Speaking
      • Working in Business
      • Working with young people
  • Contact
  • Press and Media
  • Blog

Why success is scary

10/3/2013

0 Comments

 
In the last post I talked about one big reason that we stop ourselves from going for what we really want being the fear of failure.... it's pretty common, most people would admit to being worried about some element of failure when putting themselves out there. But here's something I find fascinating - there are some who are equally scared of success.

When I first heard this concept I knew immediately that I was one of them. Why was I constantly getting in my own way of achieving?

The answer lies deep within your core values, and if you have never done an exercise that gets them all out, I'd highly recommend it....you may be surprised! Our values are what drives us, they are often learnt at a young age, and could have been adopted from someone else. 

Many women have a fear of success, because of their perception of success itself.  

Ask yourself, what does success mean to you? Does it mean an abundance of money? Hard work? Motivation? Happiness?
Well, what is your belief around money? Is it the root of all evil, perhaps you think it doesn't buy you happiness? What about happiness? Are you allowing yourself to be happy, or are do you feel bad if you are happy because there are others in your world that are not? Perhaps hard work has other consequences....

So think about what you have to do to get it. Put yourself out there? Take time away from family? Give up a social life (and your search for Mr Right)? Become arrogant and selfish as you climb your way to the top? Hang on, none of these sound that appealing!

A fear of success is an inability to focus all the things that success will really bring for you. So if you think this may be you, I have an exercise for you:

1) Firstly, get very clear about what success does mean to you. Success may have a common status symbol like a house or a Ferrari, but if this isn't your idea of success you need to tell yourself what really is, and be specific! 

2) Next, make a note of the all the other choices that this success will give you.
 
3) Finally, make a list of any consequences that getting this goal will have on other parts of your life.  What positive outcomes are you getting by not achieving this success?

If you have been able to think of any to that last one, then you are getting in your own way and sabotaging your own success.  Go back to the first and second point, what does this look like, make it as real as possible, get excited, and now go back to the last point and figure out if this is really true. For example, will your children really be worse off because you're putting in more hours on something you love and are much happier doing? How can you still spend the same quality time with them and achieve your goal? Who can help? 

Are you really more likely to meet that special someone when you don't consider yourself special enough to be true to you? Why should someone else believe that if you don't? Sticking in a job you hate because it provides a consistent income that pays for your social life may not be the answer. 

And what's with this belief that being confident and focused could mean that other people see you as arrogant? You will always be you, and if you are a kind and caring person, you can maintain that, can you not? And a final word on being selfish (a word with negative connotations, but in my opinion, positive results). 

                    Being selfish is necessary - you only have one life, be brave enough to live it your way.
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Sam D Holman, EzineArticles Basic PLUS Author

    Hi! My name is Sam 

    I'm an advocate of brave, passionate about helping people to break through their bull shit to live life in the amazing and achieve their goals easily. 

    I believe that brave is the new beautiful... and I want you to believe that too.
    x

    P.S Please feel free to comment and share. 

    CONTACT ME HERE

    If one of these blogs made a difference to your life and you would like to donate you can do so here -

    Archives

    December 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    September 2018
    December 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012

    Categories

    All
    Career
    Confidence
    Control
    Create Success
    Create Success
    Decision Making
    Decision Making
    Failure
    Lost
    Love
    Money
    Nlp
    Personal Development
    Personal Development
    Positive
    Relationships
    Stereotyping
    Stuck In A Rut
    Tedx
    Weight Loss
    Weight Loss
    Work Life
    Work Life

    RSS Feed

change@holsamlifecoaching.com