One of the top tips in NLP coaching is to know your outcome, to set your intention.
Recently I met a really old man in park, he was there to enjoy the Sunday brass band with his wife, I was there to spend time with my family.
As he left hand in hand with his wife, he caught my eye and I asked, did you enjoy that? He dropped his wifes hand and came over with a twinkle in his eye, 'Yes' he said, 'but then I decided to before we left home, if I didn't, what would be the point in coming?'
He went on to talk about where he was from and how long he and his wife had been coming to enjoy the Sunday sessions in the park (his wife was long gone by this point, clearly used to his wandering ways). During our chat he dropped in that he had been with his wife almost 70 years (I told you he was REALLY old) so I asked him the secret of a lasting marriage.
With a cheeky smile he indicated he had been asked this by many, apparently we all want to know the secret of a lasting relationship. He said he remembers 4 words; 'please, thanks, and yes dear. ' We laughed, which prompted him into his routine and on a roll he then went on to say that he and his wife both liked to ensure they got the last word, and they hadn't found it yet. We bade him our goodbyes and all looked at each other with girly 'awwwws', but in this brief yet endearing encounter I decided four things:
1) The man didn't know his secret, this was his life, it just was how it was (he didn't know how to do it wrong),
2) I knew his secret,
3) he was a joker; he didn't take things too seriously - he had fun...
.... and, most importantly 4) he decided in advance what his outcome would be.
When you know (and believe in) your outcome in advance your language and behaviour reflects this.
Think about it, ever been to a party and not wanted to go, and it was as bad as you thought it would be? Ever dreaded a presentation at work and then stumbled your way through it in a hot flush? Ever proceeded in a new relationship with caution having been hurt before, and it ends the same way as the others? Ever applied for a job, knowing you wouldn't get it, and you didn't? Ever tried another diet, knowing that you will probably not reach the weight loss goal you really want, and you did, for a week, then put it back on (as predicted)?
What if you dared to dream, you let go of past hurt, you learnt new beliefs, and you knew in advance what your outcome would be? Set your intention. Decide what you want and think about that outcome everyday.
If life were a stroll in the park, with a brass band playing, would you decide to enjoy every moment or would you focus on the fact it might rain?
Recently I met a really old man in park, he was there to enjoy the Sunday brass band with his wife, I was there to spend time with my family.
As he left hand in hand with his wife, he caught my eye and I asked, did you enjoy that? He dropped his wifes hand and came over with a twinkle in his eye, 'Yes' he said, 'but then I decided to before we left home, if I didn't, what would be the point in coming?'
He went on to talk about where he was from and how long he and his wife had been coming to enjoy the Sunday sessions in the park (his wife was long gone by this point, clearly used to his wandering ways). During our chat he dropped in that he had been with his wife almost 70 years (I told you he was REALLY old) so I asked him the secret of a lasting marriage.
With a cheeky smile he indicated he had been asked this by many, apparently we all want to know the secret of a lasting relationship. He said he remembers 4 words; 'please, thanks, and yes dear. ' We laughed, which prompted him into his routine and on a roll he then went on to say that he and his wife both liked to ensure they got the last word, and they hadn't found it yet. We bade him our goodbyes and all looked at each other with girly 'awwwws', but in this brief yet endearing encounter I decided four things:
1) The man didn't know his secret, this was his life, it just was how it was (he didn't know how to do it wrong),
2) I knew his secret,
3) he was a joker; he didn't take things too seriously - he had fun...
.... and, most importantly 4) he decided in advance what his outcome would be.
When you know (and believe in) your outcome in advance your language and behaviour reflects this.
Think about it, ever been to a party and not wanted to go, and it was as bad as you thought it would be? Ever dreaded a presentation at work and then stumbled your way through it in a hot flush? Ever proceeded in a new relationship with caution having been hurt before, and it ends the same way as the others? Ever applied for a job, knowing you wouldn't get it, and you didn't? Ever tried another diet, knowing that you will probably not reach the weight loss goal you really want, and you did, for a week, then put it back on (as predicted)?
What if you dared to dream, you let go of past hurt, you learnt new beliefs, and you knew in advance what your outcome would be? Set your intention. Decide what you want and think about that outcome everyday.
If life were a stroll in the park, with a brass band playing, would you decide to enjoy every moment or would you focus on the fact it might rain?
Sam Holman is a Guru of Brave, and works with women to unlearn old beliefs so that setting intentions and believing that you can achieve your outcome is done easily and effortlessly. If you want to work with Sam there are a few different options so you can choose the one that is perfect for you. Find out more HERE.
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