Have you ever found yourself going round and round in circles, having the same conversations and getting the same tired results? Have you vowed this year will be different? Well keep reading!
In a *survey done last year only 1 in 4 of 3000 interviewed was confident to maintain his or her resolve, and statistics show that most have given up by day 9 (that's 3 days away!). But note, the key word here - confidence. People were asked this question before the New Year had even kicked in, and 3 out of 4 didn’t believe then that they would succeed. *http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/294421/How-most-New-Year-resolutions-end-today
So here are the top 4 mistakes that people make when setting goals:
1) Write down your goal and take a look at it. Is it focusing on what you want…or on what you don’t want? When I work with clients I always ask them what they want to achieve by utilizing a coach, and almost without exception they spend ten minutes telling me what they don’t want, so I ask them again, and they look at me, confused by the crazy who is just repeating the same question. You must focus on what you want, but many focus on what they don’t want. So here’s the thing, if I say, I don’t want to smoke any more, what do you have to think about? Yep, smoking. Our brain needs direction, and where attention goes, energy flows, so if you are thinking more about what you don’t want, than what you do, then that is most likely what you will get.
2) Mistake number two is that people are not really clear, hence are not creating a compelling goal. Let me explain. Perhaps you say you want to lose weight, or get a new job, or find a partner…quite often people state they just want to be happy, or more successful, or more positive or more confident. My question then is, so that you can do what? When you get more specific you allow yourself to get excited, which is motivating you to start looking for opportunities and take the action you need to take. If you are having difficulty getting really clear, it may be because there is a limiting belief or fear at a deeper level that is stopping you. You need to learn what is holding you back and how to unlearn those old beliefs. So check your goal – how detailed is it, do you have a date of when you want to achieve it by, do you have a picture of what that looks like, and how will you feel when you get it?
3) Mistake number three, is that people don’t make their goals a priority. They tell everyone this is what they want, but do nothing to make it happen. Why? They’re too busy with other things, other people, other goals, work, fun, Facebook, sleeping. If your goal is not your priority, there is a chance you won’t get it. Shift you to the top of the list to get what you want, now…which leads to mistake number 4.
4) The goal is not for you. What I mean is, it is based on things you feel you should do, rather than what you really want to do. Let’s say you really, deep down, have always wanted to do more creative work, but you are going for promotion in the accounting firm you have been working in for the past ten years. You are comfortable in this job, and the next logical step is going for that promotion, so your goal for the new year is to get that promotion. But you don’t really want it. Maybe at some level you are doing it to make your parents proud, somewhere along the way you picked up a belief that you cannot make money by being creative, maybe you are doing it because you think your partner wants you to bring in more money, but maybe that belief just comes from you, for example, if you had more money you’d have more self worth or your partner would value you more? If you are not doing it for you, if it doesn’t match your values and beliefs at a deeper level, then you may find that you sabotage your chances of success, without realising it.
Have you recognised any of these patterns of behaviour so far? *When you identify the steps you need to take to get really focused and clear on what you really want for you, you can gain clarity and identify what has been holding you back, so that you can overcome it and get what you want.
Be brave, be beautiful.
In a *survey done last year only 1 in 4 of 3000 interviewed was confident to maintain his or her resolve, and statistics show that most have given up by day 9 (that's 3 days away!). But note, the key word here - confidence. People were asked this question before the New Year had even kicked in, and 3 out of 4 didn’t believe then that they would succeed. *http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/294421/How-most-New-Year-resolutions-end-today
So here are the top 4 mistakes that people make when setting goals:
1) Write down your goal and take a look at it. Is it focusing on what you want…or on what you don’t want? When I work with clients I always ask them what they want to achieve by utilizing a coach, and almost without exception they spend ten minutes telling me what they don’t want, so I ask them again, and they look at me, confused by the crazy who is just repeating the same question. You must focus on what you want, but many focus on what they don’t want. So here’s the thing, if I say, I don’t want to smoke any more, what do you have to think about? Yep, smoking. Our brain needs direction, and where attention goes, energy flows, so if you are thinking more about what you don’t want, than what you do, then that is most likely what you will get.
2) Mistake number two is that people are not really clear, hence are not creating a compelling goal. Let me explain. Perhaps you say you want to lose weight, or get a new job, or find a partner…quite often people state they just want to be happy, or more successful, or more positive or more confident. My question then is, so that you can do what? When you get more specific you allow yourself to get excited, which is motivating you to start looking for opportunities and take the action you need to take. If you are having difficulty getting really clear, it may be because there is a limiting belief or fear at a deeper level that is stopping you. You need to learn what is holding you back and how to unlearn those old beliefs. So check your goal – how detailed is it, do you have a date of when you want to achieve it by, do you have a picture of what that looks like, and how will you feel when you get it?
3) Mistake number three, is that people don’t make their goals a priority. They tell everyone this is what they want, but do nothing to make it happen. Why? They’re too busy with other things, other people, other goals, work, fun, Facebook, sleeping. If your goal is not your priority, there is a chance you won’t get it. Shift you to the top of the list to get what you want, now…which leads to mistake number 4.
4) The goal is not for you. What I mean is, it is based on things you feel you should do, rather than what you really want to do. Let’s say you really, deep down, have always wanted to do more creative work, but you are going for promotion in the accounting firm you have been working in for the past ten years. You are comfortable in this job, and the next logical step is going for that promotion, so your goal for the new year is to get that promotion. But you don’t really want it. Maybe at some level you are doing it to make your parents proud, somewhere along the way you picked up a belief that you cannot make money by being creative, maybe you are doing it because you think your partner wants you to bring in more money, but maybe that belief just comes from you, for example, if you had more money you’d have more self worth or your partner would value you more? If you are not doing it for you, if it doesn’t match your values and beliefs at a deeper level, then you may find that you sabotage your chances of success, without realising it.
Have you recognised any of these patterns of behaviour so far? *When you identify the steps you need to take to get really focused and clear on what you really want for you, you can gain clarity and identify what has been holding you back, so that you can overcome it and get what you want.
Be brave, be beautiful.
*Need support? See Programmes and Workshops for affordable ways to get it.
I'd love your comments and do feel free to share - what is your goal for 2014?
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