Last week my beloved yellow car broke down, yes, only four months in. But this is not a tale of woe, quite the opposite, this is about trusting ourselves by being able to listen to our intuition.

I am very conscious of my unconscious mind and I have spent a lot of time trying to understand the science behind the woo woo (as it can often be seen by those outside the world of personal development), but one day it just seemed to click. It's difficult to explain what exactly clicked, but anyone who has experienced a personal breakthrough with me will know what I am talking about...things just made sense, and I didn't have to over-think any more, because things just 'were'. Perhaps we can simply call it trust and acceptance, but it's an amazing head space to be in, especially if you find you are a worrier, experience overwhelm or anxiety, or find the same negative thoughts keep going round and round your head or the same problems keep arising. I am wondering if you are reading this knowing that you would like to experience a deeper sense of calm, clarity and confidence?

Einstein once said that 'the Intuitive Mind is a sacred gift and the Rational Mind is a faithful servant'. Isn't it funny how we seem to have created a society that worships the servant and dismisses the gift, starting with how we teach our children in school (an area I started in and am still hugely involved with and passionate about). Creativity often takes a back seat as English, Maths and Science become the most important subjects in the latter years of schooling, and academia becomes "the best way" to learn.

It's important that we can learn to trust each niggle and investigate any aches, to be able to live the most healthy and Holsam amazing lives that we deserve. There's so much going on in our worlds, there's so much noise, we need to sit down and listen, and work the intuition muscle in the same way as you would prepare for a marathon. We stretch, we warm up and we work the muscles that we need to help us on our journey. Your intuition is one of them.

Two minutes before my car broke down I had a thought about my car breaking down, the thought was attached to an important decision I was making at the time. There had been no sign that my car might break down, but as a pondered on the coincidence, or the possibility that this was a 'thoughts become things' moment, I realised that this was actually a moment where I had needed to trust my intuition.

With the 40 billion bits of information that come to us per second, somewhere in there I picked up on the cars problem with a thought that I had quickly (and rationally) filed under 'random'. But there is no such thing...our unconscious thoughts are always there to give us information.

How often have you had a thought before something happened? A thought of a friend before the phone rings and he or she is there? A thought of a potential accident before actually having it? A niggle that a new beau is wrong for us, before finding out years later that we were right? Can you really keep putting this down to coincidence?

Learning to listen to ourselves and trust ourselves is an amazing, empowering feeling... even when the car does break down!  My car was easily fixed but the situation helped me to make the decision I had been mulling over before it had happened and strengthened my relationship with my unconscious mind, because I listened and acknowledged it.

So if you have a decision to make, if you are feeling unsure, ask yourself the question and listen to the first thought that pops into your mind. Are you in the right job? With the right person? Surrounding yourself with the right people? Are you living the life you truly deserve, the one you want? Could you do more to achieve it? Are you being honest and true to you, or are you doing what you feel you should?

I read an article over the weekend about the biggest mistakes people make when choosing a life partner which discusses how society would prefer us to choose unhappy marriages over being single later in life . It reads,"In our world, the major rule is to get married before you’re too old—and “too old” varies from 25 – 35, depending on where you live. The rule should be “whatever you do, don’t marry the wrong person,” but society frowns much more upon a 37-year-old single person than it does an unhappily married 37-year-old with two children. It makes no sense—the former is one step away from a happy marriage, while the latter must either settle for permanent unhappiness or endure a messy divorce just to catch up to where the single person is". How often have you stayed with someone you shouldn't have, and ignored that voice of your intuition in relationships?

Further, this article about career happiness  discusses the need to play to our strengths in our jobs, yet I have worked with many fifteen year olds who, even with my expert advice and guidance, are not ready to listen and trust their intuition, instead preferring to take the well worn path of the adults before them, making mistakes, disliking their jobs (or , indeed, their partners) and wishing they had chosen a different path.

The voice of our intuition, a voice we can trust as a gift that will serve and protect us if we let it, is simply being drowned out by fear, our own and others, and a whole heap of other bits of information telling us what we should and shouldn't do...more importantly, who we should and shouldn't be.

So let my yellow car be a lesson to us all, listen to that small voice, pay attention to your thoughts and be curious to ask - what do I really need to understand that, if I were to get it, would allow the current problem I have to totally disappear?

Just trust your first thought.

Your comments are welcome, when did you trust your intuition for a positive result?

Need - what is the purpose?

Imagine this. 

Outside your door you notice there is a person, loitering, in the dark... their face isn't clear but something in the way they hold themselves leads you to believe they are sad, or hurt, or perhaps afraid.

What would you do?

OK let's get real - I suspect you may call the police... but what if you just got a sense they were there for you, to tell you something perhaps? Maybe then you might call for support, perhaps from a loved one already inside the house, but then you may get curious, and want to know what is the purpose of this unwelcome visitor.

And perhaps you face it, call out to it...and this person tells you it's name is 'Need' and Need is there to serve you; except Need unnerves you, Need makes you do or say things that doesn't help you to get what you want. You watch Need from the window and worry about what it will look like, what others will think of this Need, hanging around, making you feel worried, stressed, self-conscious and a little desperate.

So what then would life look like without Need?

Often when we have goals and we don't get them it is worth facing up to why not - and one reason maybe that 'need' is lurking - so what does that need represent for you?

Perhaps you want to start a new business but it 'needs' to work to make you money, or you want a new job, but there is a deeper sense of 'need' because you hope this will increase your sense of self-worth.

If 90% of our communication happens through our unconscious doing, such as our body language, or the words we choose to use i.e our physiology, then it would make sense that a sense of need will be conveyed to the people we are communicating with, no matter how well we think we are hiding it. Going along to an interview when you need a job will give  you an air of desperation - ever noticed how it's the jobs you don't much care for that you tend to get offered more easily than the ones you REALLY want! When you can let go of 'need' you can relax, be more confident and give the interviewee the sense that you really are the one they are looking for (likewise in relationships - imagine how off-putting someone is who comes across as needy on the first date!).

Think about how you can remove that need:

Need money - what for? How can you make sure you have enough to be relaxed around this area first? Perhaps you can spend some time looking at your finances and working out what you have, and how much is necessary to live..this alone may be enough to alleviate the need.

Need happiness, confidence, a sense of self-worth? How can you find this some other way, from within? Get writing and noticing all that you have, a gratitude journal, meditation... all of these things can help you to highlight some other way to know that you already have this, enabling you to let go of the need and set your intentions with positive instruction.

For example, with need I may want more money to help me feel more relaxed, less stressed, more confident and happier (note the 'comparative' has a focus on what I don't have now). Remove need and my goal of £5k more a month is so that I can spend time with family, help to support others, travel, grow, learn and develop. Do you see the difference?

If you suspect that 'Need' is lurking outside your door, take a minute to sit down with it, find out it's intention and then work out how you can say goodbye to 'Need' and hello to the life you suspect is waiting for you.

Sam Holman is a Career Consultant and Confidence Coach. She works with women to support them in their progression to the life they suspect they are capable of living, achieving their dreams and removing their doubts. If you would like to find out how working together can work for you CONTACT today.

Let's say money is no object - it's simply energy, an exchange of value. Let's say that because you love what you do, you consider yourself to be a success, perhaps not if we are judging and comparing ourselves by the values of our old friend Jo Public, but you are happy and you have enough of an income coming in to help you reach other goals.

Let's say all of this were true - what would you do?

For many this simple question is extremely complicated; well there are many variables are there not? It depends doesn't it? And isn't it also true that we can make life as simple or as complicated as we want it to be?

We can seek out situations that don't serve us...then we can stay in them for a while longer than needed. We can buy more and more material possessions that need taking care of,  maintaining or renewing.
We can be angry or saddened, hurt or confused by the actions of others, and not communicate that effectively... to ourselves or to the person who may have some simple answers. 
We can ignore physical pain or illness until it becomes much more serious.

And then life becomes much more complicated.

But let's say it's as easy as answering with the first thing that pops into your mind, before the objections and worries come in. If money were no object, what would you do?

I once met a very bright and academically minded seventeen year old who had already set up her own online business. She was happy and excited about doing a Business Degree when she returned to her home country - until her class mates and family started questioning her decision. Why Business? Why not Law? She was more than capable of studying Law, and if she studied Law she would likely be more successful in life.  The questions continued and when she came to me filled with a fear of regret and making the wrong decision, she believed that she didn't know what she wanted, because what she truly wanted had been questioned to the point it was unrecognizable. A decision that had been made with such determination had since been taken from the light, put in a dark room and half beaten under a very big spot-light.

My question to her was, what would you do if you knew you would achieve the same level of success? As they say in the video, 'it's absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don't like'. Our success lies within us, if we are doing something that motivates us and gives us energy we are bound to succeed in it, whatever success looks like to you will be your focus and you can make it happen. If you don't like what you are doing, you are unlikely to excel in it. Her response to the question was instant and she has now started her Business degree and is loving it.

Sometimes by listening to the outside noise we allow our lives to become more complicated. When we learn to love, trust and accept ourselves we can trust in the first, quiet, assured internal voice that answers these simple questions.  We have all the answers and resources we need in side of us, and with that answer comes an ability to live a life we love, and make the money we want whilst doing it.

So ask yourself this, what would you do if money were no object? Now trust that answer and find a way to go do it!

Sam Holman is a qualified Careers Consultant and Confidence Coach, and works with women to unlearn their limitations so that they can identify and go for what they really want... and it's so much easier without those complicated and sabotaging behaviours! Find out more and contact her TODAY.

Can you think of someone who has what you want? Who you admire greatly for all their success and achievements? You know who that person is when you find yourself saying 'I wish I could be more like _________'?

Envy is not an attractive trait, but it is feedback, as is any negative and positive emotion that you may experience.  Obviously if you find yourself with positive emotions the feedback is 'more of that please' but the negative can also be listened to to help make changes in your life, so that you can get what you want.

So let's say you want the kind of success that you believe your friend has; as you think of her, what qualities would you say best describe her? Is she determined, motivated, confident, happy-go--lucky? Is she focused, open-minded, caring? Do you notice how she lights up a room, or does she make you feel special by listening?  It doesn't have to be a friend, you could take someone you don't know who you deem as successful - Richard Branson? Lily Allen? Mother Teresa? You may not know them, but you can study them, read about them and just watch them (without being a creepy weirdo about it!).

We all have access to these resources, some we currently apply in other areas of our lives, some we have forgotten how to use, but we all have them - so which resources do you need to access to be what you want to achieve?

A couple of weeks ago the winner of the 'Brave and Beautiful' Awards was announced, and the interviews to determine that winner were fascinating to me, because time and again the same qualities presented. These women were nominated by their friends, family and colleagues, all for completely different reasons; all had completely different experiences and stories to tell - yet the personal qualities that shone through from each woman was the same.

So have a think about the person in your life that you would study for their sheer ability to be excellent, and see if you can spot any of the same traits:

1) They all had love and compassion for others:
One of our finalists was nominated because of her support of others. Kassi-Jayne Marshall said "It makes me feel positive, knowing I can make a difference. The world would be a really desperate place if no-one helped each other and it really doesn't take much to make others happy. As the saying goes, a smile is contagious." 

2) They all stayed focused on what they wanted to achieve:
One finalist put organising her own wedding secondary to someone in need, doing all she could to be a great friend. Lucy Ball said "I tried to focus on things that would make life a bit easier for her - and for those who care about her".

3) They all believed that it was possible (and yes they had moments of doubt, but deep down, held onto the belief):
Our amazing winner of the awards maintains her belief that you can do anything you set your mind to. Helen Sanders said, 'There is always a way if you really want to do something - if the first way doesn't work, find another way! If there is a wall in the way, get over it or through it or smash it down!'

4) They all used their negative to create a positive:
One of our finalists had experienced depression and came out of the other side to create all female comedy nights, creating both opportunities and plenty of laughs. Jane Duffus said "I decided to do something about it, rather than just thinking about it."

5) They kept moving forward by taking positive action:
One finalist said that resilience and resourcefulness kept her going, even when money or time stresses seemed like a reason to stop . Nikki Carter said 'I am passionate about what the centre stands for and really believe in it. I just cannot give up. It is too easy to stand back and do nothing in society - that is not an option for me.'

Jim Rohn once said that we either change out of inspiration or desperation. You can use the stories of those around you to inspire you to live your life to it's fullest potential - waiting until stress knocks loudly at your door is one thing, waiting until it barges in and knocks you down can be avoided. 


Choose to make the changes that you need to make today, access your resources that are inside of you, and go for what you really want.

The Bristol 'Brave and Beautiful' Women Awards were run locally by Sam Holman, in collaboration with Amia Online - the positive and inspiration magazine for women. Sam is an expert in women's progression, using tools such as NLP (a study of excellence) supporting others to remove negative emotions or beliefs so that they can move forward with confidence, and achieve what they really want. 
Find out how you can access the resources you have inside of you for success and contact Sam today.

                                                                   Happy International Women's Day 2015! 


The winner of the Bristol ‘Brave and Beautiful’ Awards has been announced!


The awards were created because I know how amazing women can be, but what is even more amazing is that many don’t recognise it. Studies show that women are more likely to doubt themselves and hold back from living to their full life potential as a result, yet we all have something of courage and beauty about us - and luckily I get to work with such women every day. I really hoped that the awards would get all women thinking about their true worth and value, and about the worth and value of those women around us.

The awards were run in collaboration with Jan Shankar, Founder of Amia Online, and were opened to all women in the Bristol area on 2nd February, an international day of courage in memory of Rosa Parks. Nominations came pouring in for mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, friends, colleagues, business owners, a whole female-based community group even got nominated. Every single nomination was as inspiring and special as the last for their own reasons, and everyone deserved the recognition. 

The five finalists were Nikki Carter, Jane Duffus, Helen Sanders, Lucy Ball and Kassi-Jayne Marshall – all demonstrated an overwhelming sense of focus, positivity and resilience in challenging times, and all have made a massive impact on other people’s lives in a variety of amazing ways.

Today, on International Women’s Day, I am pleased to announce the overall winner of the gift prizes to be Helen Sanders. Helen has been tirelessly working to raise money for Clic Sargent, a Bristol charity caring for children with cancer and supporting affected families. Her own son was diagnosed at age three; he is now ten and doing well, but Helen continues to turn the negative into a positive and uses her experience to give back to society and inspire others around her. 

The impartial judges supporting the awards, Karen Bass, Bristol based award winning Film Maker, Louise Harrison, Founder of dairy-free chocolate brand Cocoa Libre, and Amanda Kerin, Founder and Event Manager at AJK Events and Inspiring Women LIVE, agreed that the decision was tough as all were deserving, but the eventual vote was unanimous saying that Helen was a down to earth woman whose story was both moving and inspiring.

So sit back this Sunday morning, take some me time out and have a read of all five finalist's brave and beautiful and heart-warming stories...

Helen’s story
Lucy’s story
Kassi’s story
Jane’s story
Nikki’s story

Remember...

Be brave, be beautiful!

Sam Holman is an expert in women's progression, known locally as a 'Guru of Brave', she works with women to unlearn what has held them back in the past so that they can move forward and achieve success with complete confidence. If you are ready to recognise your true worth and value so that you can achieve your goals easily and want support contact her TODAY.

We have now just past the date where most people have failed at the resolutions they set, leading up to Christmas, and started, following the New Year celebrations.

The end of an old year and the beginning of a new one holds great symbolism for many people. Even though we technically all know that every day is an opportunity to reflect, reject and start afresh, the excitement of Christmas, the heightened sense of over indulgence (spending money, working harder/or less so, being around couples, or eating more) starts us considering how we want it to be different next year, and the New Year celebrations around the corner brings a sense of motivation to get that thing we want and to reach our goals.

And then we go back to work. Real life kicks in. We're too busy, too broke, too hungry, too cold... and within an average of eight days, many people have given up. 'Next year' they say jovially, whilst mentally beating themselves up for being a failure, and experiencing feelings of guilt or frustration at their lack.

The key to achieving the success in anything, is belief, motivation and determination. There will be days that the motivation is not as strong as others, that's being human, but human beings are also amazing in their capabilities, and there are success stories everywhere of how people have achieved the things they want with a little support, a big belief, and a whole lot of getting back on track if they fall off that motivation wagon for a day or two. You just have to decide to do it.

It's not too late to get back on track now!

Here's how:

1) To help you stay motivated, give yourself a really clear and compelling picture of what the end goal is. For example; more money or a better job, feeling relieved or not being overweight still has the focus on what you don't want or don't have now, so decide how much money you'll have and what that means for you when you have it, focus on the positive feelings you now have because of achieving your goal, and what you'll be able to do as a result. 

2) At the end of every day, whilst you are writing out your gratitude diary, also write a to do list for the next day. A mini action plan. That way, when you wake up in the morning there is no overwhelm, you know exactly what you want to get done that will help you move toward that big end goal, and how to do it. Start with the thing you least want to do first, that way it is done and the other things will be much easier....and keep in mind that compelling picture you created in step one as your motivator.

3) When I work with clients I always give them tools and tasks to continue doing until the point that they forget they ever felt a lack in confidence and believed things about themselves that created self-sabotaging behaviours and held them back. Creating new habits to replace the old ones is so important. Deep down, you'll know what you need to do to create the life you want, but if you refuse to do things differently you cannot expect it to happen. So decide what are the new daily habits that you can introduce to support getting your goals. It can be as simple as changing your thought process and starting your day with the sentence 'how can I make today even better' to spending an hour a day on the thing you want (sending speculative job applications, making contacts with new business connections, exercising or eating well, writing and articles, learning something etc.). There is always more you can do.

     Remember, the best way to get what you want is to focus on it, take positive action and remove any                                                      doubt or negative emotions that arise along the way.

Sam is an expert in women's progression and works with women to remove old fears, beliefs and feelings of being stuck so that they can move forward and achieve what they want with complete confidence. If you would like to find out more about working with Sam contact her today.

January gets a bit of a raw deal - like a Monday, people start to dread it before it has even got here. They call it 'boring' or 'quiet' or 'dull'.... they say it's cold and dark, and they live for the end of the month, when pay day arrives and February and spring is just around the corner.

But what if you change your perspective and instead use it to set the standard. January is the beginning of the year, so start as you mean to go on. Tomorrow is the first Monday back to work (not the most depressing Monday of the year though, if you buy into Blue Monday), so how are you feeling about it? Are you excited to see your work colleagues and catch up on Christmas conversation, or dreading it, and envisioning yourself stepping back into the vortex of entrapment? Are you already dreaming of summer days in the sunshine, or are you embracing the cosy nights in, with your creative crafts or loved ones and music?

Listen to your inner voice now, because if it is asking for things to change, now is the perfect time to do it, not because it's January, but because now is always the perfect time! Too many people say that when something happens then they will feel x. Why not feel x now...want to be happy and hoped that a two week break will fix it, and it hasn't? Be honest with yourself, how can you make yourself happy today? What changes can you make? What support can you seek? What can you notice that you do have now? 

Whether you have made a new year's resolution or not, see the opportunity in this quiet month to reflect and plan. How do you want to be different this year? Do you want to be happy and confident in some areas more than others? Do you want to believe that you are worthy of that promotion or deserving of that income? Do you want to know that you are good enough to love, just as you are?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, take joyous January to get excited about how you can take control of those things this year. Starting today. 

Sam is an expert in women's progression, helping them to remove old fears and beliefs that have held them back in the past. If you suspect you are holding yourself back and are ready to move forward this year get unrutified HERE.

Sam Holman teaches women how to let go of old fears and beliefs that are holding them back from living their full life potential. If you suspect that there is more to life than what you are getting and you are ready for change contact her TODAY to find out how you can work together.

So here we are on New Year's Eve, and love it or hate it, it is a true story; a whole year has passed and a new one is coming. Now is the perfect time many use to reflect on the time gone, achievements and disappointments, and decide how next year will be different.

The greater question that you can ask yourself now though is, how can I be different? 

When I work with clients we set goals in a particularly empowering and compelling way, but always with a view to making sure living in the future is not part of the plan. Appreciating each day, each moment and each success is a fundamental part to living in and appreciating the present, whilst working towards the bigger goal we want.

The key is in recognising what you can learn, how you can react differently, and how you can approach the new year. Many people believe that we need to first have something, before we can be something. For example, when I make my millions then I will be happy, or when I find love then I will be confident. How can you start by being happy? How can you start by being confident? Simply put, with daily practice.

*Dr. Wayne W. Dyer wrote these fabulous top tips for living in the present moment:

1. Remember that habits are changed by practicing new behavior. By practicing new thinking every five minutes, you’ll soon begin to master the art of present-moment living.
2. Do an honest assessment of your “problems.” You’ll very likely discover that almost all of your problems are really in your head and not located in reality.
3. Take time to be mindful of everything around you. Begin to look at your entire surroundings in a new light. Observe every detail on every face, every building and every object. If you do this often enough it will become a habit that will facilitate your being alive in every moment of the year.
4. Change your attitude. Begin an attitude-redevelopment plan. That means practice enjoying everything you do.
5. Be specific about what you want and take action. Decide on one thing that you would like to work on and do it today. Work at it daily, rather than making it a long-range objective.
6. Create a self-improvement agenda for yourself. Put on your agenda whatever activities you’ve always thought about but never had time to do. Do them now.
7. Rid yourself of mundane chores that are not really that important. Spend more time making your life a pleasure.
8. Eliminate procrastination as a lifestyle. Instead of talking to yourself about what you are going to do next week or even tomorrow, use this time to start a new task.
9. Don’t give up control of your life to others. You cannot enjoy the present moment if you are busy trying to make everyone else like you. People respect you more when you operate from a position of strength and self-reliance.
10. Feel good about yourself. You are a magnificent human being. Always feel good about that self that you are always with.
(*Taken from https://www.facebook.com/drwaynedyer)

When setting goals do not ask for what you want, this is living in the future, but state it for the date, as if it is  now i.e It is now 28th July 2015 and I am..., give yourself the visual so that you can create those feelings and then every day see it and feel it, take positive action and complete the stepping stones for that one day, appreciating and giving gratitude to the mini-goals achieved in that moment.

If all you do is worry about the big goal, you can create stress and overwhelm, a huge reason why many stop working on their resolutions eight days into the new year. Today is a good day to let go of past negative emotions that do not serve you, and create new, more positive and empowering emotions to take with you, every day, into the New Year.

If you suspect that old negative emotions and beliefs are holding you back and you are ready to let them go now find out how it is possible HERE and contact Sam, an expert in women's progression.
Be Brave, Be Beautiful...and a very Happy and Holsam New Year. 

It's Christmas Eve; for many this is the last day at work for a few days, and now full focus can go on embracing the holidays. 

So what now? Are you excited about the joy and memories that the next few days will bring? Or are you simply relieved to be off work for a few days, but dreading the manic craziness of the Christmas season? 

Many people see Christmas as a time for added stress - here you are, with perhaps two weeks off, and your thoughts turn to the planning, the overwhelm, the expectations, the finances, the things yet to do and buy, the people you spend all year avoiding that you now have to see and how overweight or tired you'll be by the end of it!


Today you can set your intentions and focus so that you can thrive this holiday and enjoy it as it's meant be:

1) If it's not done, don't worry about it.  There's the saying that goes, 'those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind'. So you've run out of the perfect wrapping paper, you forgot to buy the brandy snaps, you didn't send a card to your cousin (sorry cuz) - these things just add to the stress as we look at all we didn't do! Let's switch focus, to how thoughtful you are, how you did the best you could, and how your family are just happy that you're here...even if you did forget the brandy snaps! 


2) Laugh. If it's not perfect, that's perfect for you! Laugh about it. Embrace the games that get wheeled out at this time of year, take part, and laugh if you lose. Laugh about that gift that doesn't quite fit, and laugh about the presents being wrapped in old newspapers! It's the thought that counts after all!

3) Be thankful. Practicing gratitude is the key to happiness, and at this time of year it's especially important. We set our expectations so high - not just on others, but on ourselves. It has to be perfect, and if it's not it means we're not. It doesn't. At this time of year in our ever increasing consumer society the focus can be on the 'not enough'; not enough food on the table, not enough money spent, not enough thought given, not enough people in the room... you get the drift! Whatever is in your life, be grateful that you have it; health; work; family; friends; opportunity; a roof over you head... be thankful for what you do have, and you will get even more of it.

4) Be two logical levels ahead. Christmas can be a time of year where we have to see some members of the family that perhaps we would rather not. Firstly, we don't have to do any such thing. Let's be honest here, if you are spending time with a family member that you perhaps don't connect with as much as you'd like to, there is some feedback to pay attention to. If you would like to have a better connection, work out how you can make that happen, if you think you have to do it, work out according to whom - perhaps you are doing this is because it's important to another family member who is more important to you...so focus on them and making sure their Christmas is actually made happier for it! You turning up with an attitude is not going to make them happy. The simple fact is, you control your actions and reactions. So set your intentions, how would you like the  day to go, take that picture and attitude with you and you may be surprised at how things work out.  When  you anticipate that someone will be a pain to spend some time with you can either go expecting that (ensuring it will happen) or you can go expecting that and knowing how you can react differently (ensuring you are two logical levels ahead of them and changing the outcome). Just try it!

5) Plan some 'me' time. With all the time off coming up it is easy to believe you must cram in all the things that others expect of you. But what do you really want? 'Me' time is commonly associated with alone time, but it doesn't have to be. What do you really want to do? Want some time to yourself, with a loved one, or your immediate family unit, then you must create it. It's OK to say no; simply say it nicely, explain what you want (not what you don't want) and get planning...make sure you do it though. You are a priority, a goal without action is simply a dream, so make it happen!

6) See it for what it is, for you. The media and movies will have us believe that this season is all about family and romance, providing you with the perfect excuse to hold a Christmas pity party for one if these things are not in your life. Stop it! Christmas can be anything you want it to be; want to feel part of a family, go do some volunteer work; want to experience love, love yourself first. This is a time of year that people allow themselves to wish others well, seasons greetings are every where and it can be easy to imagine that you are the only one alone, the only one who has to work, the only one who doesn't connect with all the family you do have. Well, it's time to tell yourself a different story. Every one of us has special, unique qualities, we are all capable of giving and receiving love, but if Christmas for you means a nice chilled out day in front of the TV with a box of Twiglets, embrace it, if it means working on something you love love it, and if you have the time to help others do it. There are no rules for Christmas so if you have some time off decide what you want to do with it, what will make you most happy, and see it for what it is for you.

Wishing you a very merry Christmas from Sam at Holsam Life.

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