Some times, making a decision can be difficult - yes. Impossible - no! Let's get real here, how can making a decision really be impossible?? I mean, it's your decision - you have the power. You are making it as difficult or as easy as you wish. I can ask you to pick a number between 1 and 10 and you can pick a number with ease - that's a decision. So what's the difference between that, and the decision you are now 'trying' to make?
The difference is the emotion and perceived (not real and scary) consequence you are giving to it.
So if I asked you to pick a number between 1 and 10, and one of the numbers came with a prize of $250'000 - would that make the decision more difficult? Possibly, and yet there is no reason for that. You don't know which of the numbers has that monetary amount attached to it, but you may start being more aware of your 'gut instinct' or your unconscious (UCM) and conscious minds (CM).
Here's how the internal conversation might go -
Me (UCM) - number 10.
Me (CM) - no, hang on, that's too obvious, maybe I should go with 3, it's my lucky number.
Me (UCM)- 10.
Me - (CM) Let me think like the person who is giving the prize, they look like a lucky 7 kinda girl.
Me - (UCM) 10!!!!!
Me - (CM) OK, I'm going with the first thing that popped in my mind, er, hang on, 1?
(Hint: the number with $250'000 behind it was 10)
So now let's take a decision that may be more difficult still. One that has consequences for you and perhaps even for other people in your life. I once dated someone who couldn't decide whether to leave me...for THREE YEARS! OK, I stayed, that was me back then, but this was a painful decision not only to watch, but to be a part of. You could see the thoughts going round and round his head - should I stay....or should I go? What would happen if I stayed...what would happen if I left? Where is the grass greener? The simple fact is, the grass is greener wherever you stop and water it, and if you are questioning the smell of the roses that is usually your answer!
There is a massive degree of stress involved in not making a decision. You feel frustrated and unhappy, the same thoughts going round and round in your head, you may even add some extra options into the mix, just to make it even more complicated for yourself i.e. Shall I go for that promotion or look for a new job?......OR, I could run away and live like Robinson Crusoe for a year!! Shall I leave my relationship or stay and get counselling? ....OR I could start an affair with Maverick from I.T!! And for what purpose?
As long as you are not making a decision, you don't have to take that leap. And that leap looks scary right? I mean, who is going to catch you if you fall? What if ____________________?
1) Make it. Just do it and be honest with yourself - can you really live like Robinson, or with the guilt of an affair?
2) Focus on the positive consequences that doing it will get you.
3) Be confident that it is the right decision for now - whatever else happens, you can learn from it.
4) Trust your unconscious mind. Ask yourself, what do I really want. The answer may scare you, but that is often a sign of what you really should be doing.
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