You glance at the clock and wonder if it’s time to leave yet – 9.05am.
Myra from accounts walks in complaining about someone’s inability to cross the t’s, again. You know it’s petty stuff, yet you find yourself irritated by the same ridiculous thoughts. Why can’t other people do what you want them to do? The familiar bubble of frustration starts to rise in your chest, but you swallow it back down and turn your attention to the job at hand.
The job at hand seems meaningless and you wonder what else could be out there for you, and as you stare at the computer screen an itch of a picture starts to form, but you can’t quite grasp it. The thought is a bit scary – what would happen if you could grasp it? You can’t leave here… you know the job, the people, the income… here is safe.
Jim the boss walks in with a face like thunder, you know he’s having a bad time at home, yet for some reason you feel guilty, and a bit paranoid – is it me? He barks at you to drop everything and do some other task he deems as more important. You already start to feel stressed and check the time – 9.15am.
You get your head down and focus on the task ahead, absent-mindedly munching your way through the lunch you brought in just to keep your energy levels up and the boredom at bay.
11 am and the girls are up at the water machine gossiping, you wonder momentarily if they are talking about you, tell yourself that’s ridiculous and then feel hurt that you’re not in their gang enough to know what they are talking about.
There’s a part of you that wants to run, and a part that has a sense of purpose and a need to complete. They need you here after all – what would happen if you left? You catch the thought again and push it away. How can you leave – this was your dream job after all!
Does any of this sound familiar? Perhaps you think this is normal, and you ride it out knowing that these feelings just come and go in life and anyway, it's only a couple of days away from the weekend. Perhaps you are simply not sure where you could go to, so staying put is the easy answer.
Now imagine this.