I was recently introduced to the concept of ‘the curse of lovely’ (book by Jacqui Marson) – sounds like a pretty nice curse to have if there is such a thing! How can we really be cursed to be lovely though? You may recognise yourself in this if you think you are someone who says yes to everyone, and then gets annoyed at self, angry at others for taking advantage, sad that people only seem to contact you if they need something, or guilty/anxious at the mere idea of saying NO!
I know many people like this, and they truly are lovely. Luckily because I know they are 'cursed' I am mindful of their affliction; I used to be the same – I’d drop everything to be there for people who needed me, when they needed me. Mine was more a ‘thoughtful curse’, that was my label, so of course I could never be anything but. Man, I would go out of my way to people please, and although it was acknowledged, I carried resentments that it wasn’t returned (it often was, not always from the same people, but kindness is always rewarded), in my moments (come on, we all have them) I’d throw my ‘life isn’t fair’ toys around the room, and yet still, when the next person asked, I’d drop everything. Seriously, I am pretty sure I dropped a few hot dates with perspective lovelies to make sure the people in my life knew I was trustworthy, would do anything for them, and generally liked/loved me. Of course I had high expectations of those around me too, making it almost impossible for people to live up to them. You have kids, schmee, if I need you I need you, look at all the times I have been there for you! Kinda thing. This of course ensured I was proved right, they didn’t love me enough.
OK, let’s get real here – this isn’t a curse, this is a limiting belief, an excuse to stay in the comfort zone. If this is you, you are likely to be living your life in overwhelm, and preventing yourself from being as lovely as you can be, because those negative emotions you are carrying around are not attractive and are definitely not positively serving you; it's likely that no one else even knows they exist and if they have clocked them, chances are they’ll be avoiding you now! The important people in your life just think you’re lovely, if they think at all, perhaps they take it for granted that you’re lovely, but if you asked them and they had to think about it I’ll bet that’s what they’d say. They love you anyway, whether you say yes or no, and if they do get annoyed when you say no, that’s feedback, but don’t make their problem your problem!
It’s time to be honest about what makes you happy, and put yourself, health and wealth first. No one worthy of being in your life will resent you for that, no one will think less of you, in fact, some may even envy you your freedom (again, their problem to address).
If you love making other people happy, accept that, and notice all the times the universe gives it back to you in different ways.
So are you cursed, or are you lovely?
In my opinion, there is no curse of lovely – you just are… my question to you is, what else are you?
I know many people like this, and they truly are lovely. Luckily because I know they are 'cursed' I am mindful of their affliction; I used to be the same – I’d drop everything to be there for people who needed me, when they needed me. Mine was more a ‘thoughtful curse’, that was my label, so of course I could never be anything but. Man, I would go out of my way to people please, and although it was acknowledged, I carried resentments that it wasn’t returned (it often was, not always from the same people, but kindness is always rewarded), in my moments (come on, we all have them) I’d throw my ‘life isn’t fair’ toys around the room, and yet still, when the next person asked, I’d drop everything. Seriously, I am pretty sure I dropped a few hot dates with perspective lovelies to make sure the people in my life knew I was trustworthy, would do anything for them, and generally liked/loved me. Of course I had high expectations of those around me too, making it almost impossible for people to live up to them. You have kids, schmee, if I need you I need you, look at all the times I have been there for you! Kinda thing. This of course ensured I was proved right, they didn’t love me enough.
OK, let’s get real here – this isn’t a curse, this is a limiting belief, an excuse to stay in the comfort zone. If this is you, you are likely to be living your life in overwhelm, and preventing yourself from being as lovely as you can be, because those negative emotions you are carrying around are not attractive and are definitely not positively serving you; it's likely that no one else even knows they exist and if they have clocked them, chances are they’ll be avoiding you now! The important people in your life just think you’re lovely, if they think at all, perhaps they take it for granted that you’re lovely, but if you asked them and they had to think about it I’ll bet that’s what they’d say. They love you anyway, whether you say yes or no, and if they do get annoyed when you say no, that’s feedback, but don’t make their problem your problem!
It’s time to be honest about what makes you happy, and put yourself, health and wealth first. No one worthy of being in your life will resent you for that, no one will think less of you, in fact, some may even envy you your freedom (again, their problem to address).
If you love making other people happy, accept that, and notice all the times the universe gives it back to you in different ways.
So are you cursed, or are you lovely?
In my opinion, there is no curse of lovely – you just are… my question to you is, what else are you?
To get rid of limitations and beliefs that are holding you back from reaching your full and happy potential find out more about how we can work together HERE
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