Change is now.
So what else is changing in your world? I find that this time of year many start to reflect on their personal successes of the past year, somewhat unfairly perhaps, since it is hardly over yet, and then consider what they would like to achieve for next year.
Most of us spend 80% of our time working, so this is a big one to reflect on; being happy with what we do, striving for excellence within it, feeling valued and confident that we are in the right role, are all things we should think and feel. Yet I have experience working with young people in schools on their careers, and have seen the moment of choice happen, when decisions we make, that are ours alone to decide, are made against our true self...our inner values.
Fast forward ten, twenty, even thirty years, and I work with adults who still carry that 'belief' - the one that got them taking another direction. The thought of what they should do, the worry of what other people thought of them, the fear of not being good enough, the anxiety of failing... it's still there, holding them back like a physical block in the road. Despite running from it these beliefs they can pull us back and get us the same old result, just when we thought we were rid!
Who knows where they come from, sometimes it's obvious i.e some time ago I met a young lad in his home, he had fought against the educational system because he was 'bored' - with the right people around him he may go on to become the next Einstein or Steve Jobs (also bored and a bit if a handful at school) but with his mum in the room telling him 'we all get bored in our jobs, you have to do things you don't like if you want money!' and encouraging him to take his anti-ADHD drugs (which he said made him 'mong out') I suspect a new belief is being nurtured....I hope he stays true to himself on his journey of self-discovery.
Others of course, have the most encouraging self-confident parents' in the world, but 'society' dictates our choices. Sometime ago, a Facebook follower messaged me to thank me for giving her the inspiration to leave her corporate job to pursue her creative passions. She told me that her parents had always encouraged her in art, but she never felt she would be good enough to make a living from it. I am pleased to say that she is now. It's a big 'societal' belief that creatives can't make money...how much money you earn is always down to what your priority is in life; what is important for you to be able to have, and why, is important to understand when setting your money goals and getting aligned with them.
This reminded me of a video I posted to Facebook a couple of weeks ago:
A recent study by 'Escape the City' showed that:
"More than 60% of 1,000 working professionals said they didn’t make an active choice when deciding their current career path, and that they chose it because they couldn’t see any alternative.
Around 40% of people wanted to leave their jobs because they were concerned that they would regret spending their career in that industry, and 8% admitted that they had felt pressured by parents, friends or teachers to choose that career path.
The survey has highlighted the clear need for better careers advice to improve job satisfaction and help people to reach their potential.
The survey also found that:
- 50% would most like to pursue entrepreneurial ambitions
- 14% would like to take time off to go travelling
- 29% would like to work for an organisation aligned with their values"
So where, if anywhere do you fit into this...these surveys are all very well, but I have worked with clients who felt unfulfilled and unaligned at work and once they'd removed their own limitations, personal beliefs, and the frustrations and depressions connected to this, the work they desperately wanted to escape from suddenly offered the opportunity they craved and they began to hear the validation externally when giving themselves permission (i.e doing it for themselves) internally. In other words, once we remove our own beliefs and negative emotions aka the unconscious things that block our path, we are free to move forward and notice possibilities that were always there.
Wayne Dyer, self help author, passed away recently. He was famous for quotes such as:
- If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
- How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
- Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
- When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
- You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.
- Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
- When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.
- You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
- The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.
- Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.
As I read up on his life I was drawn into a video he had published, a story about a man's quest to find his father so that he could confront him...anger had built up over the years focused on the man he barely knew, but the symptoms came out on his family, his relationships at work, and importantly, on his own health. At the end of the story he found that his father was no longer living, and he had a sudden 'aha' moment that allowed him to let go of all that was no longer serving him. The anger that once helped him to not feel the pain, to not miss and love his father,dissipated, and he shared his feelings as follows....
"Nobody ever died from a snake bite, what kills you is not the bite but the venom, the poison that stays with you and stays with you long after the bite. The venom stays with you unless you figure out a way to release it and get it out of your system. Or better yet, if we can actually figure out a way to assimilate, to transmute what was once toxic so that the toxin becomes more like medicine...this is a primitive way of thinking but is very evolved, to look at what has caused you the most pain and turn them into your most greatest teachers. This is what we are supposed to do, for the world around us, starting with ourselves."
So as we head into autumn, and the changes that this season will bring, think about this - when you focus on bad things, you are going to feel bad. Simples! If you consider autumn to connect to the dark depths of winter that you are already dreading, you will feel bad now, if you worry that bad things will happen, you will feel anxious now, and if you think about quitting your job with no safety net, you will feel fear now, if you allow the thoughts of past loves lost to plague you, you will feel hurt now....unless you consider what you learn from those past times and allow yourself to feel love, and gratitude for them being your greatest teachers, you will bounce back to exactly what you don't want.
By reading this article all the way down to here you have already decided to do things differently, so ask yourself, what do you need to do today to get what you really want?