Do you wake up in the morning feeling excited and wondering how you can make your day even better? Or do you start dreading your day the night before, and wake up wishing you could go back to the dreams you live in your sleep?

Recent studies indicate one in two people feel unhappy with their jobs (and don't do anything about it) and if you suspect you might be one of these people I love this quick quiz to find out if you are a grump (along with some suggested tasks and tips to start making small changes:

The simple fact is that many choose paths unsuitable to them, their skills, and their learning styles right back from leaving college.  Why would they make these choices? Fear! (Whose fear is a whole other question). Young people have already learnt the meaning of making mistakes by the time they are sixteen, as they 'regret' not choosing other subject options at the age of thirteen. At sixteen the pressure is really on, and they know that they couldn't possibly follow their dreams, because the chance of getting them are so slim, the competition so fierce, so the focus goes on the Plan B.

I recently had a conversation with an actor, not a famous one, but a happy one, who was mixing his love of acting with performing, directing and teaching. We discussed a young person who had convinced me that there was no point in following his dream and studying drama since it was so difficult to succeed in it. I wondered if Brad Pitt had said/done the same thing and I was reminded that when we focus on a fall back, we generally do.

The problem back when we are younger is that we don't really know what we want to do; the options are so huge but the ideas are still very narrow as many are only aware of the more common professional roles available. Add to the mix the desire to make money/be independent and we gravitate towards jobs that make sense as a natural, well-trodden by many before us, pathway and start climbing that ladder and focusing on the next milestone.

Perhaps to start with, you want a better day, and unlearning old habits and noticing all the good in your day is a great start, but if you really want to make a difference, ask yourself; what are you really complaining about? Is it time to make a bigger change and be true to who you really are now?

                                                             Be brave, be beautiful

Please feel free to comment and share. For more information see 'Programmes and Workshops'

Recently I heard a 'crazy' in the street shouting 'my eyes have gone deaf' repeatedly. My partner and I stifled a somewhat nervous giggle, felt a bit bad for the guy and shuffled by without looking at him for too long.  

Yet somehow his words stayed with me, because I couldn't shake the fact that I understood them. I refer to him as a 'crazy' because in our society it is not normal to walk around shouting such random things (or shouting in general come to think of it), and of course, his ramblings made no sense. And yet they did to me.  There was a part of me that wanted to go and check that he was OK, to check that he wasn't having difficulty with his eyesight. 

Language is a powerful thing, yet we all know that deaf is used for the ears, and blind is for the eyes, but what if I wanted to use this word differently. If I was from another country I may mix these words up, I mean, both demonstrate a problem with the senses, so it is not too far from the truth.

When I had a problem with my eyesight, as a visual learner, I had to change the way I learnt and thought quite quickly, and it was confusing.  I could have said that my eyes had gone deaf, why not? My other senses were just as confused; I was suddenly listening with my heart, and seeing with my ears.

Words are simply words. Although I have a love of them, my meaning that I attach to them can be different to what the dictionary tells me they mean. A student may say she finds English interesting or enjoyable, but when asked why, her reasons can be so different to mine. She likes to analyze text, I like to write creatively. Our definition of interesting or enjoyable becomes different. A client says she wants success or happiness, but when I ask what success or happiness looks like, their pictures are always different to mine.

We can learn so much from understanding what other people's words mean, which enables us to communicate in a far more powerful way, so before you misunderstand someone and spiral down a negative tunnel, just ask: What specifically do you mean by that? You may be surprised by the answer.

                                                                                Be brave, be beautiful

Do feel free to comment and share. Remember the 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' affordable online coaching programme starts soon. Taking bookings NOW so book your place if you want to learn how to take a different perspective. www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

I have a confession to make, and I almost feel that I have to swear you to secrecy. OK, here it comes...I am having a love affair, with myself. Yep, I said it, I love myself... and (despite it being a bit of a dirty secret) I'm proud of it too. I have one life to live and without this attitude I don't think it would be half as good as it is.

Let me explain - in love, I want someone to take care of me, to say nice things to me, to occasionally treat me and make me laugh, I like a listening ear and someone who can give good advice, who doesn't give me a hard time if I sometimes ignore that advice, and say I told you so. Someone who understands me and forgives me if I mess up, and someone who accepts that I am not perfect, but knows my imperfections kind of make me perfect. 

See all those things I just said... I give that to myself (even the making myself laugh, and yes I do look like a bit of a nutter sometimes, and no, I don't care).

Today is the most romantic day of the year, or so we are told by those fabulous marketing agents. Most of us know that Valentine's Day is commercial rubbish; let's face it, if you love someone you shouldn't be depending on one particular date to kick you up the back-side to pull some romance out of the bag.  Yet there are still many singletons that will be dreading it... I know, I used to be one of them. But before you dismiss me as one of those sickly reformed characters who has now found 'the one' and is skipping into the sunset trying to get everyone else loved up and married off too, let me explain.

I will spend this valentine's day on my own...just as I have for the last few years, the biggest difference is my improved relationship with myself. So if you want to find the greatest love of all this valentine's day, take Whitney's advice, and find it inside of yourself.

                                                            Be brave, be beautiful

Want a better relationship with yourself? Book your place on the 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' online coaching programme NOW. Starts 17th March and is only for those people who want to have the confidence and support to go for what they really want, be it in business or in your personal life, learning tools to remove negative emotions so that you are free to notice opportunities such as fab relationships, improved careers, and making more money along the way!! SPACES LIMITED so book yours NOW -www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

Ever wondered how it is that you seem to keep attracting the same kind of ______________ (boss, job, co-workers, partner, relationship, money patterns, friends etc.)?

What are you seeing in these things that is the same? A characteristic? A behaviour? A story?

On a recent trip back from London, whilst gazing out of the window at the countryside whizzing past, I was reflecting on a conversation I'd just had (that sounded very much like a conversation I'd had before), and I suddenly remembered the long period of time that I had had double vision. During this time, when people asked how I coped, I would describe this to others as the fact that you can look outside of a window and ignore the reflection on the glass, focusing only on the beauty beyond. During those two years I was able to choose what I was focusing on...just as we all can, when we look out of a window. 

So back to the conversation that I felt I had had before, yet in a different time, place and with someone completely different. 'Perception is projection' is an idea that stems from Carl Jung, the Swiss Psychologist, and in a nutshell means, what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves, and what you perceive in others is what you are putting out there (projecting)...which then becomes your reality.

So think about this - what if, when we look at others, what we are seeing is actually a reflection of us and we are not allowing ourselves to notice the beauty in them; the frustrated boss, the jobs that are not letting us reach our full potential, the unhappy co-workers, the untrustworthy partners, the lack of commitment in a relationship, the 'not enough' mentality around money, or the insecure friends. What if what you see, feel or hear... is actually you, and you are not allowing yourself to notice the beauty in you? Whoah!

It is certainly a reality that you can choose what you focus on, and when you see things in others that you don't like, just take a moment to check in with yourself - is it really them you are seeing, or a reflection of yourself?

                                                                  Be brave, be beautiful

Want some help to change your repeat patterns and live life beyond the reflection? Online coaching programme 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' starts again on 17th March - click on this LINK and secure your spot NOW.

Ever felt lonely, despite the ability to connect to others at the touch of a button? Internet dating, Facebook friends and smart phones connecting us to the world 24/7 can lead us into a false impression that we are connected, we are not alone, but is this way of communicating really that good for us? It seems that many of us don't make time for real relationships, instead 'liking', 'commenting' or conversing with people we may never even meet. We can do this in an instant, and we don't have to schedule in time from our busy lives. If we do connect with others in real time we may also run the risk of having to tell...wait for it...the truth!! Or worse, have nothing to say at all, because the truth is, we don't make time for anything but work...and Facebook!

In today's society, as we connect by looking at the best of what others choose to show us, we would be forgiven for comparing ourselves to others and feeling like we aren't quite good enough, and as time goes on we are in danger of forgetting all the things that we do have to talk about. Our anxiety around having a real conversation and indeed, from being real...stops us from reaching out, from saying, you know what, life isn't so great right now, and actually, I could do with a hug (a real one). I wonder if you did, would you find others who feel and think exactly the same things as you?

Brene Brown did an amazing talk on the power of being vulnerable, where she talks about a piece of research that she did that changed her life WATCH IT HERE. If you don't have time, she talks about the importance of connecting. She says "connection gives purpose to our lives" and what underpins that is vulnerability. She found that the people who have a stronger sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of connection, and those who have that sense of worthiness fully embraced vulnerability and believe that what made them vulnerable was what made them beautiful.

So pick up the phone, call someone, and talk.... really talk. I am all for looking at the positive, but if you are masking something that needs to come out, you have to acknowledge that to deal with it.

                                             Be brave, be beautiful.

Have you ever found yourself going round and round in circles, having the same conversations and getting the same tired results? Have you vowed this year will be different? Well keep reading!

In a *survey done last year only 1 in 4 of 3000 interviewed was confident to maintain his or her resolve, and statistics show that most have given up by day 9 (that's 3 days away!).  But note, the key word here - confidence. People were asked this question before the New Year had even kicked in, and 3 out of 4 didn’t believe then that they would succeed. *http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/294421/How-most-New-Year-resolutions-end-today

So here are the top 4 mistakes that people make when setting goals:

1)      Write down your goal and take a look at it. Is it focusing on what you want…or on what you don’t want? When I work with clients I always ask them what they want to achieve by utilizing a coach, and almost without exception they spend ten minutes telling me what they don’t want, so I ask them again, and they look at me, confused by the crazy who is just repeating the same question. You must focus on what you want, but many focus on what they don’t want. So here’s the thing, if I say, I don’t want to smoke any more, what do you have to think about? Yep, smoking. Our brain needs direction, and where attention goes, energy flows, so if you are thinking more about what you don’t want, than what you do, then that is most likely what you will get.

2)      Mistake number two is that people are not really clear, hence are not creating a compelling goal. Let me explain. Perhaps you say you want to lose weight, or get a new job, or find a partner…quite often people state they just want to be happy, or more successful, or more positive or more confident. My question then is, so that you can do what? When you get more specific you allow yourself to get excited, which is motivating you to start looking for opportunities and take the action you need to take. If you are having difficulty getting really clear, it may be because there is a limiting belief or fear at a deeper level that is stopping you. You need to learn what is holding you back and how to unlearn those old beliefs. So check your goal – how detailed is it, do you have a date of when you want to achieve it by, do you have a picture of what that looks like, and how will you feel when you get it?

3)      Mistake number three, is that people don’t make their goals a priority. They tell everyone this is what they want, but do nothing to make it happen. Why? They’re too busy with other things, other people, other goals, work, fun, Facebook, sleeping. If your goal is not your priority, there is a chance you won’t get it. Shift you to the top of the list to get what you want, now…which leads to mistake number 4.

4)      The goal is not for you. What I mean is, it is based on things you feel you should do, rather than what you really want to do. Let’s say you really, deep down, have always wanted to do more creative work, but you are going for promotion in the accounting firm you have been working in for the past ten years. You are comfortable in this job, and the next logical step is going for that promotion, so your goal for the new year is to get that promotion. But you don’t really want it. Maybe at some level you are doing it to make your parents proud, somewhere along the way you picked up a belief that you cannot make money by being creative, maybe you are doing it because you think your partner wants you to bring in more money, but maybe that belief just comes from you, for example, if you had more money you’d have more self worth or your partner would value you more? If you are not doing it for you, if it doesn’t match your values and beliefs at a deeper level, then you may find that you sabotage your chances of success, without realising it.

Have you recognised any of these patterns of behaviour so far? *When you identify the steps you need to take to get really focused and clear on what you really want for you, you can gain clarity and identify what has been holding you back, so that you can overcome it and get what you want. 

                                                                         Be brave, be beautiful.

I'd love your comments and do feel free to share - what is your goal for 2014?

I'm too busy, too old, too fat, too thin, too tired...I don't have enough money, enough experience, enough time, enough tools, enough support...I'm not good enough, not motivated enough, not famous enough..ENOUGH ALREADY!

The key to getting what you want is to stay focused on what you do have; so you don't have enough experience yet? Well, how are you ever going to get it if you keep telling people that?! Focus on the fact that you have determination and motivation because you are passionate about what you want to learn and they are great traits to help get your foot in the door.

Your excuses are helping to keep you in a comfort zone. They are there to protect you, and keep you in the world that is your truth. But what if it's not true? What if you can do it with what you have? How would life look then?

It's not what you haven't got, it's what you can do with what you have got.
 
                                                                     Be brave, be beautiful

I'd love your comments. What's been your biggest excuse?

How do you feel when you don't succeed? Discouraged? Depressed? Fed-up?

Does it make you want to give up? Does it make you think the world isn't supporting you? Think you're not good enough or don't deserve it? Perhaps you’ll remind yourself of past failures just to compound the belief, and then start to run an internal dialogue that supports you (because we so like to be right).

I recently met a girl of 18, who was taking an exam for the third time and convinced she was going to fail. Her confidence was going down, and stress levels going up. She had previously missed out on passing these exams by a matter of a few points, but before this she had always had amazing results at school and university. Now the pressure was on because she’d experienced her first fail, and this made it worse. As she sat down to study, she would remember the past failures, and start to tell herself she would probably fail again, this led to a lapse in concentration and she would find it impossible to study (hence making sure she was not well prepped for the exams, which would have lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy). Luckily she had the lady-balls to seek help, but I bet we can all relate to this in some way, I know I can.

If I paint a picture of a famous author, writer of 17 books, including a best-seller that has been translated into 38 languages and sold in over 100 countries, you'd probably see only their success and wouldn’t think about whether they had to face the thought of failure, especially not over and over again.

Author Susan Jeffers once received a rejection letter that said, 'Lady Di could be cycling nude down the street giving this book away and nobody would read it.’ Wow, what amazing feedback! Can you even imagine opening that kind of letter - knowing that someone actually took the time to write those words about something you had worked hard on and totally believed in.

This followed many other rejection letters and was written about her now best-selling, life-changing book, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’. She says in the foreword of the book: 'So many publishers rejected it in the beginning that I almost gave up trying to have it published.’

But she didn't give up - she focused on what she wanted, and she was taking action…over and over again. She went on to find a publisher and created a phenomenon, changing thousands of other peoples' lives.

If you believe in something, whatever it is, don't give up on it. No matter how far away success sometimes seems, no matter what response you get from others, no matter how hard it looks now. 

Believe in what you want, stay focused, take action and delete that thought of failure, choose to tell yourself instead that you are worthy – after all, a thought is exactly what it is. 

Want support with your goals? Learn how to get rid of the negative chatter that holds you back? Come along to the free three-part webinar series to find out how you can be free to make 2014 your year. 
                           Book now to get access http://bravesolution2014.eventbrite.co.uk?s=19171845

Are you being you? Unique, special, amazing you? Or are you holding yourself back? Do you re-run scenarios in your head, past or future, wishing you had said, done, or been something/someone different?

I recently had an email from someone who said that they are finding it hard to stay motivated and focused in their work, and as our emails went back and forth, he went into admitting that actually, he was stopping himself because he feared what others may say or think of him.

What a man! Take a bow the guy who dares to be honest. Is he walking around in fear? No. Does he have a fear that is holding him back and impacting on what he chooses to focus on, and therefore be motivated by? Hell, yes! Let's face it, who would be motivated by a thought that at the end of all your hard work you will fail and people will say "I told you so."

We spend so long comparing ourselves to others, that we forget to compare ourselves to ourselves. We forget to notice our own unique qualities and instead notice all that we think we don't have (limiting belief by the way), we start to convince ourselves we are not good enough, and of course then we put that on others - they probably don't think I am good enough either, they are probably wondering who I am to be doing what I am doing. 

What would it do for you to know that their thoughts are exactly the same, how would you behave then?

As we come towards the end of 2013 and wonder what we have achieved and what we want for ourselves in 2014, now is a good time to reflect. Here are three questions that you can ask yourself to reflect with courage, and notice how you are already, uniquely you;

1) What are you doing today that you couldn’t have done 5, 3 or even 1 year ago? How have you stepped out in the last year that you might have found inconceivable before?

2) What new decisions have you made or what new actions have you taken that have resulted in you moving in a new direction in your life?

3) What are your wins this year, compared to last year at this time? How has your life improved? How haveyou improved? What have you done recently that you never thought you could do?

In other words, how have you continued to become a new and improved version of yourself?

Want to make 2014 is your year? Ready to identify what has been holding you back in the past? Get focused, motivated and inspired to take action now and achieve your goals - attend the free 3 part webinar series with me and special guests; experts in image, health and fitness.  Book now:                                             http://bravesolution2014.eventbrite.co.uk?s=19171845

"Arghhhhhhhhhhhh - I just CAN'T decide. It's impossible to decide, how will I know if it's the right decision?? What if _______(fill in the blank)________?" And this is the problem - what if?

Some times, making a decision can be difficult - yes. Impossible - no! Let's get real here, how can making a decision really be impossible?? I mean, it's your decision - you have the power. You are making it as difficult or as easy as you wish. I can ask you to pick a number between 1 and 10 and you can pick a number with ease - that's a decision. So what's the difference between that, and the decision you are now 'trying' to make?

The difference is the emotion and perceived (not real and scary) consequence you are giving to it. 

So if I asked you to pick a number between 1 and 10, and one of the numbers came with a prize of $250'000 - would that make the decision more difficult? Possibly, and yet there is no reason for that. You don't know which of the numbers has that monetary amount attached to it, but you may start being more aware of your 'gut instinct' or your unconscious (UCM) and conscious minds (CM).

Here's how the internal conversation might go -
Me (UCM) - number 10.
Me (CM) - no, hang on, that's too obvious, maybe I should go with 3, it's my lucky number.
Me (UCM)- 10.
Me - (CM) Let me think like the person who is giving the prize, they look like a lucky 7 kinda girl.
Me - (UCM) 10!!!!!
Me - (CM) OK, I'm going with the first thing that popped in my mind, er, hang on, 1?

(Hint: the number with $250'000 behind it was 10)

So now let's take a decision that may be more difficult still. One that has consequences for you and perhaps even for other people in your life. I once dated someone who couldn't decide whether to leave me...for THREE YEARS! OK, I stayed, that was me back then, but this was a painful decision not only to watch, but to be a part of. You could see the thoughts going round and round his head - should I stay....or should I go? What would happen if I stayed...what would happen if I left? Where is the grass greener? The simple fact is, the grass is greener wherever you stop and water it, and if you are questioning the smell of the roses that is usually your answer!

There is a massive degree of stress involved in not making a decision. You feel frustrated and unhappy, the same thoughts going round and round in your head, you may even add some extra options into the mix, just to make it even more complicated for yourself i.e. Shall I go for that promotion or look for a new job?......OR, I could run away and live like Robinson Crusoe for a year!! Shall I leave my relationship or stay and get counselling? ....OR I could start an affair with Maverick from I.T!! And for what purpose?

As long as you are not making a decision, you don't have to take that leap. And that leap looks scary right? I mean, who is going to catch you if you fall? What if ____________________?

To make a decision easily you just have to -
1) Make it. Just do it and be honest with yourself - can you really live like Robinson, or with the guilt of an affair?
2) Focus on the positive consequences that doing it will get you.
3) Be confident that it is the right decision for now - whatever else happens, you can learn from it.
4) Trust your unconscious mind. Ask yourself, what do I really want. The answer may scare you, but that is often a sign of what you really should be doing.

Get some extra help with the 'I don't know what I want (or I do but I am scared) e-book' request yours TODAY.