We often say 'I feel stuck in a rut' but how can you really be feeling stuck (unless you are literally standing in glue of course)? The feeling of stuckness is created by thought, and the likelihood is the thoughts you have are stuck in your mind, going round and round, with no exit strategy.

So consider this, when was the last time you did something differently? 

Can you remember that time when life was sweeet? Then BANG! You were walking along in your happy bubble and you fell down a hole, you didn't see it coming, and now you are at the bottom of this rut, looking back up towards what was, wondering how you got here, feeling a bit lost and confused, and wishing things could be how they were again, wondering how you can get back to that place.

If this sounds familiar then it's time to get out of that rut.

Just imagine that you can turn around.  When we are so busy looking at what was, we are not getting the learning of what is, and very simply put, when you turn around you get to see a different perspective... and a way out. 

So ask yourself what was missing from that happy bubble that meant you found yourself here, what can you now focus on getting that will allow you to turn around, and take the next step towards your bigger and better bubble. Take that step, then another, and eventually you will be free of the darkness...just watch out for those holes!

Sam Holman is a Guru of Brave and works with women who are holding themselves back from living their full life potential to unlearn old fears and beliefs, remove negative emotions, and feel free to create the life they really want, with confidence. Get out of your rut with the Braveheart DIRECT online coaching programme. Secure your place TODAY.

Ever been in a place where your working day has been better spent in a day dream? And in that dream you are doing all the things you'd love to do but probably couldn't get paid to do.  Then reality seems even harsher when you snap out of it and are faced with feelings of frustration, anger, annoyance, perhaps guilt and sometimes what feels like physical pain.

Now it's time to sit in a meeting where you'd rather chew your own ears off than listen to the pointless points being made, or you look at the pile of paperwork and can no longer make a fun game out of trying to get it all done in a day, perhaps the mere sight or sound of your boss makes you want to scream in a really irrational but oh so releasing way. Perhaps you feel a little dead inside, or maybe worse, your stomach seems to be alive with creepy crawly anxiety ants on a daily basis, and your mouth is continuously dry despite the constant flow of tea or coffee you're drinking just to keep you awake (or give you something else to do).

You ask yourself daily, surely there is more to life than this, and although there may be a small voice inside shouting 'YES!' the louder rational one says, 'well, maybe, but you have looked at jobs and there was nothing, and remember that time that one job did come up, they didn't even reply, let's face it, there's a recession, jobs are hard to come by, I'm probably not experienced enough for what I'd really like to do anyway...' And the little voice that shouts 'YES!' gets drowned out by all the reasons why it's just not possible.

According to *research 'three out of five people in the UK want to change their job but are held back by lack of cash or the right skills.' But as you sit at work and think about your reasons for putting yourself through this everyday, are they really real, or actually is it that you are holding yourself back by fear?

From the same research taken from 3'000 UK workers, some of the top dream jobs include, a writer, a photographer, working for a charity, a musician or singer, a sports trainer, an actor, journalist, racer and artist.

It seems people are searching for purpose, and  want a way to turn passions in profits, yet  you only have to pick up a paper to back up your belief that you can't do it...jobs are still being lost, people are still more experienced than you or perhaps the kind of job you want just doesn't exist. Well think again my friend.

When you look for information to back up your belief you will find it, let's face it, doom and gloom is comfortable and safe; you can't be disappointed at the bottom. But today dare yourself to get out of that uncomfortable so-called comfort-zone to take one small step - simply look for people who have done it. 

Perhaps you think no one has done what you want to do, well have you ever heard of these jobs?

Face feeler - checking that beauty products do what they say, so feeling the softness of models faces.
Gumologist  - basically testing chewing gum, some days are literally spent chewing gum all day.
Waterslide tester - break times include roller coasters and candy floss!
Sommeliar - You must know your wine for this one...hardship!

Stop with the excuses!

To do what you want to do you must start with the belief that you can, so go surround yourself with people who are doing it, read their biographies, follow them on Linkedin (do not follow them down the street), network with people who you admire...

OR you can go for a drink with everyone from the office after work, and complain about the boss, the amount of work, the ethos and (lack of) company values, and as you buy another round, remember to mention that you just can't afford to do what you really want to do.

                                                      Be brave, be beautiful (and go get your new courageous career)

Sam is a qualified careers adviser and is passionate about changing the views of people who think a plan B is necessary (if you really need one decide how long you'll be in it whilst you work on plan A), she is also now trained as a Master NLP coach and works as a 'Guru of Brave' helping women unlearn what has held them back in the past. Get her free e-book full of tips to go from scared to successful HERE.

Comments always welcome:

I recently went into a coffee shop where school children had been encouraged to write poetry in a specific format. The idea was to consider those around us as they sit alone at a cafe and write about what they are dreaming of. Interestingly the eight year olds continuously hit on two main themes; love, and money.

It made me wonder what we are really teaching the next generation; after all, to imagine what others are thinking, you mind read and must put your own thoughts in their voice;  so our children often think what they have learnt, be that from parents, teachers or the media. 


For them to have in their own minds that when people sit alone they are dreaming of wealth or worrying about money, that they are wanting more or stressing about their lack, would indicate they have heard this somewhere before, because really, can an eight year old actually worry about these things?

Other themes were around a better job, a bigger house, having friends... only one wrote from a child's perspective, of a boy who had it all, but dreamed of helping the poor. 

Some time ago I posted a question on my Facebook page, asking what advice people would give to their younger self in only two words and there was a common theme; be brave; be confident; be yourself; accept yourself and so on. Yet according to the many young people I work with, their elders are not following their own advice. Young people are making career choices based on their parents' and teachers' experiences, and they are scared; scared of making mistakes, of not earning enough money, of being unhappy, stuck or stressed out, of constantly being tired at the end of the day, of being bored at work, of being alone or of failing.

But this is not a lesson on parenting as such, perhaps more a lesson in parenting yourself. If we were all to imagine we had a child inside of us, that we were in fact parenting a younger self, would you talk to yourself the way you do? Would you make different choices? Would you take greater risks and leaps of faith? Would you encourage yourself to notice all that you are good at? Would you praise yourself for your achievements at the end of each day? Would you notice all that you have and get creative with your resources? Could you be brave/confident/accept yourself?

So my ultimate question to you is; what are you teaching your 'inner' child?

If you are dreaming about more, but are not sure how to get what you want, contact me today to find out how I can support you to reach your full potential and get out of your own way. Comments welcomed:

People often ask me the above question and I am momentarily floored. This is not a good look for business, but what's fab about a breakthrough is that when you have them, you forget that you were ever in that place where you needed one. 

So let me explain. You know the moment when the sun breaks through on a cloudy day, where you see the light at the end of the tunnel, where you feel euphoria at your sense of achievements? I digress... how about when a chick has been tapping away at his shell in his bid for growth and freedom, the fresh air hits his tiny beak and he can finally relax, or when you get that light bulb moment and a sense of clarity? OK, I'm off again...

The fact is, a breakthrough is whatever it is you want it to be. Do you feel that life is a little foggy and you could do with the sun on your face? Do you feel you have been tapping away on something for an age, feel exhausted and think you're getting nowhere? 

Don't take it from me, my clients know exactly what I am talking about when they have their breakthroughs...

"I contacted Sam and she started me on her ‘breakthrough’ programme.  Today I can positively say a breakthrough is exactly the right word.  A lot of the opening of eyes and dawning of positivity. gradually lifting of barriers, feeling better and better every day.  But there was definitely a ‘click’ moment where the path of progress, change and positivity started feeling like the obvious choice every day."  

Hope that answers that question.

If you are ready for your breakthrough, whether dreaming big or taking first steps, let me support you. 
I offer various ways for you to have your own breakthroughs, from one to one work to online programmes. Contact me TODAY to see how I can support you to breakthrough and get what you want.

We spend about 57% of our waking lives at work during a working life of about 46 years. Phew!That's over half of our lives, but for many this feels like a lot more when you spend the weekend dreading work, long hours commuting to work, not sleeping at night as you worry about work, and not forgetting the overtime (which many of us are no longer getting paid for). 

Expectations from employers are getting higher, and stress rates in employees are going up with them.

The job search can create a fair amount of anxiety, fear and vulnerability in people, and I often work with clients to remove those emotions so they can better understand how these factors may be keeping them stuck in their current careers. Through coaching, you can reasonably expect to gain career confidence, insight, encouragement and inspiration. You should also feel as if the coaching relationship grants you some permission to relax a bit. 

If you are doing something you really, truly enjoy, it shouldn’t feel like work at all (many still believe that you are not supposed to enjoy your job - who says!?) Ideally, you should feel a sense of alignment between your work and your values.  It’s only in that space of overlap—which may or may not relate to your sense of purpose in the world—that a genuine sense of career gratification or fulfillment becomes possible. If you want a job that brings fulfillment, then aligning your work with your values is essential. If you already derive fulfillment from work, then your work is probably already an extension of your values.

If you are someone who has been feeling for a while that there is something more for you out there, but you are not sure what, or you know but you are afraid to take the leap unsupported, let me help you.

As a qualified career's adviser and 'Guru of Brave' I work with clients to identify their key transferable skills, fine tune professional CV's, and unearth their true career desires giving you clarity and confidence to go for what you really want.

If this sounds like something you are interested in please contact me or make a 15 minute appointment (available to book on the 'contact page') so we can talk about how you can move forward and tailor your next steps with me. Just follow the link and CONTACT ME NOW for a no-obligation chat.

The other day I found myself spotting for a bus. I'm only little, so to be directing this bus from behind, I found myself thinking ( yes I probably should have been more focused) that this big bus, with all it's passengers, and the driver of course, was trusting me to direct it through a maze of parked cars (don't ask).

This got me thinking about direction (and trust). We all need it, yet many are afraid to give it to ourselves, or ask for it, or even follow the directions once given.....yet none of us would jump in a car to get from one side of the country to a small lesser known road on the opposite side of the country without directions, so why do we deny ourselves access to the path on our personal journey? 

Fear of disappointment or of failure can be debilitating, because, let's face it, if we don't give ourselves direction then we probably aren't going anywhere specific. Can you imagine looking back on your life, when you are old and tucked up in bed, reflecting on the life you have had, and being pleased that you didn't give yourself some direction, or a sense of purpose? You didn't trust yourself to hand over that map that had the big cross on it showing you where to find your own personal treasure chest.... but that's OK, because you played safe, you bobbed about like a cork in the ocean, and when there was a storm, you survived it and went wherever life (or someone else's life) took you. OK, so you weren't that happy, but life was simple, easier, when you didn't have to face disappointment...you knew where you stood when you were standing still. Yes, it got a little boring, and frustrating knowing you never reached your full potential, but that's normal, all the other people that were just standing still told you that was fact. Yep, having no direction was up there with one of the best non-decisions I ever made.

Hmm....

Or perhaps you could look back on your life and laugh at all the adventures you had, when you were trying to follow the directions. Perhaps it didn't always go to plan, but you reached your goals, time and again. You had focus and determination, you inspired others and even if you didn't find that treasure chest, you ticked many boxes along the way, and that was a priceless life experience which can never be disappointing.

Dare to dream...when you do, you may find the sense of direction you never knew you had.

Need some support? As well as directing big buses I can help you find your direction and purpose. Contact me today.

Do feel free to comment and share too!

Whether you want the perfect career, relationship, lifestyle, or family there is always the same thing getting in the way...you! Yes whether it's just out of reach, you almost had it, or you had it and lost it there is one common denominator. 

So let's look at career for now - 

You may think you don't know what your perfect career is. Maybe that's because your perfect career doesn't exist - yet?

Maybe you think that you can't get paid what you need to earn in your perfect career?

Maybe you think you're not supposed to get paid for doing what you love?

How about these... I'm not experienced enough, I don't have the right qualifications, I don't know where to start, it's not realistic, I'm not special enough...why would anyone pay ME to do that? Not confident enough, not clever enough, not blah blah blah blah blah!

You get my drift.

As mock exams and real ones are kicking in in schools all over the UK young people are feeling the pressure of decision time, and are struggling to find their purpose - what is it all for? What if I make a mistake? Can you remember that time, being lost and confused, people giving you their opinions on what you can do with your skills - which path did you take back then? The safe one...or are you still searching for your path? 

Take a look at this visual on the left, detailing the paths of five self-made millionaires. Is where you are now today a stepping stone towards what you really want, or are you stuck in your plan B and growing roots from standing still too long? 

Many young people I work with want to know what they can do as a back up plan. At the age of 17 I wonder where they get the idea that they need one? Yes there is competition, labour market statistics may not be in your favour but the minute we give focus on the negative and what we can't do instead, we lose focus of the dream.

So at some stage in our lives we have a look around and don't recognise the path we have lead ourselves up. Perhaps we don't feel valued, satisfied, or happy, perhaps we don't think we have respect from our boss, or are frustrated that we are not utilizing our skills.

So first of all, let's get real. Nothing is perfect, (that's what makes it perfect) and your reaction to that is everything. How you feel is feedback - what are you telling yourself? 

Is it time to take that leap and create that career for yourself, or do you simply need to take a fresh perspective and see all that this route has and is giving you? Is it really your boss who needs to show you some respect, or are you putting blame outside of yourself and it's you who needs to respect yourself?

Whatever the answers are, know that you cannot bullsh*t yourself...but you can breakthrough to your brave!

Sam Holman runs online coaching programmes to help support people get clarity and confidence to go for what they really want. Find out more at www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

Do feel free to comment and share:

Do you wake up in the morning feeling excited and wondering how you can make your day even better? Or do you start dreading your day the night before, and wake up wishing you could go back to the dreams you live in your sleep?

Recent studies indicate one in two people feel unhappy with their jobs (and don't do anything about it) and if you suspect you might be one of these people I love this quick quiz to find out if you are a grump (along with some suggested tasks and tips to start making small changes:

The simple fact is that many choose paths unsuitable to them, their skills, and their learning styles right back from leaving college.  Why would they make these choices? Fear! (Whose fear is a whole other question). Young people have already learnt the meaning of making mistakes by the time they are sixteen, as they 'regret' not choosing other subject options at the age of thirteen. At sixteen the pressure is really on, and they know that they couldn't possibly follow their dreams, because the chance of getting them are so slim, the competition so fierce, so the focus goes on the Plan B.

I recently had a conversation with an actor, not a famous one, but a happy one, who was mixing his love of acting with performing, directing and teaching. We discussed a young person who had convinced me that there was no point in following his dream and studying drama since it was so difficult to succeed in it. I wondered if Brad Pitt had said/done the same thing and I was reminded that when we focus on a fall back, we generally do.

The problem back when we are younger is that we don't really know what we want to do; the options are so huge but the ideas are still very narrow as many are only aware of the more common professional roles available. Add to the mix the desire to make money/be independent and we gravitate towards jobs that make sense as a natural, well-trodden by many before us, pathway and start climbing that ladder and focusing on the next milestone.

Perhaps to start with, you want a better day, and unlearning old habits and noticing all the good in your day is a great start, but if you really want to make a difference, ask yourself; what are you really complaining about? Is it time to make a bigger change and be true to who you really are now?

                                                             Be brave, be beautiful

Please feel free to comment and share. For more information see 'Programmes and Workshops'

Recently I heard a 'crazy' in the street shouting 'my eyes have gone deaf' repeatedly. My partner and I stifled a somewhat nervous giggle, felt a bit bad for the guy and shuffled by without looking at him for too long.  

Yet somehow his words stayed with me, because I couldn't shake the fact that I understood them. I refer to him as a 'crazy' because in our society it is not normal to walk around shouting such random things (or shouting in general come to think of it), and of course, his ramblings made no sense. And yet they did to me.  There was a part of me that wanted to go and check that he was OK, to check that he wasn't having difficulty with his eyesight. 

Language is a powerful thing, yet we all know that deaf is used for the ears, and blind is for the eyes, but what if I wanted to use this word differently. If I was from another country I may mix these words up, I mean, both demonstrate a problem with the senses, so it is not too far from the truth.

When I had a problem with my eyesight, as a visual learner, I had to change the way I learnt and thought quite quickly, and it was confusing.  I could have said that my eyes had gone deaf, why not? My other senses were just as confused; I was suddenly listening with my heart, and seeing with my ears.

Words are simply words. Although I have a love of them, my meaning that I attach to them can be different to what the dictionary tells me they mean. A student may say she finds English interesting or enjoyable, but when asked why, her reasons can be so different to mine. She likes to analyze text, I like to write creatively. Our definition of interesting or enjoyable becomes different. A client says she wants success or happiness, but when I ask what success or happiness looks like, their pictures are always different to mine.

We can learn so much from understanding what other people's words mean, which enables us to communicate in a far more powerful way, so before you misunderstand someone and spiral down a negative tunnel, just ask: What specifically do you mean by that? You may be surprised by the answer.

                                                                                Be brave, be beautiful

Do feel free to comment and share. Remember the 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' affordable online coaching programme starts soon. Taking bookings NOW so book your place if you want to learn how to take a different perspective. www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

Ever felt lonely, despite the ability to connect to others at the touch of a button? Internet dating, Facebook friends and smart phones connecting us to the world 24/7 can lead us into a false impression that we are connected, we are not alone, but is this way of communicating really that good for us? It seems that many of us don't make time for real relationships, instead 'liking', 'commenting' or conversing with people we may never even meet. We can do this in an instant, and we don't have to schedule in time from our busy lives. If we do connect with others in real time we may also run the risk of having to tell...wait for it...the truth!! Or worse, have nothing to say at all, because the truth is, we don't make time for anything but work...and Facebook!

In today's society, as we connect by looking at the best of what others choose to show us, we would be forgiven for comparing ourselves to others and feeling like we aren't quite good enough, and as time goes on we are in danger of forgetting all the things that we do have to talk about. Our anxiety around having a real conversation and indeed, from being real...stops us from reaching out, from saying, you know what, life isn't so great right now, and actually, I could do with a hug (a real one). I wonder if you did, would you find others who feel and think exactly the same things as you?

Brene Brown did an amazing talk on the power of being vulnerable, where she talks about a piece of research that she did that changed her life WATCH IT HERE. If you don't have time, she talks about the importance of connecting. She says "connection gives purpose to our lives" and what underpins that is vulnerability. She found that the people who have a stronger sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of connection, and those who have that sense of worthiness fully embraced vulnerability and believe that what made them vulnerable was what made them beautiful.

So pick up the phone, call someone, and talk.... really talk. I am all for looking at the positive, but if you are masking something that needs to come out, you have to acknowledge that to deal with it.

                                             Be brave, be beautiful.