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The Thing About Goals and Resolutions

12/31/2014

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So here we are on New Year's Eve, and love it or hate it, it is a true story; a whole year has passed and a new one is coming. Now is the perfect time many use to reflect on the time gone, achievements and disappointments, and decide how next year will be different.

The greater question that you can ask yourself now though is, how can I be different? 

When I work with clients we set goals in a particularly empowering and compelling way, but always with a view to making sure living in the future is not part of the plan. Appreciating each day, each moment and each success is a fundamental part to living in and appreciating the present, whilst working towards the bigger goal we want.

The key is in recognising what you can learn, how you can react differently, and how you can approach the new year. Many people believe that we need to first have something, before we can be something. For example, when I make my millions then I will be happy, or when I find love then I will be confident. How can you start by being happy? How can you start by being confident? Simply put, with daily practice.

*Dr. Wayne W. Dyer wrote these fabulous top tips for living in the present moment:

1. Remember that habits are changed by practicing new behavior. By practicing new thinking every five minutes, you’ll soon begin to master the art of present-moment living.
2. Do an honest assessment of your “problems.” You’ll very likely discover that almost all of your problems are really in your head and not located in reality.
3. Take time to be mindful of everything around you. Begin to look at your entire surroundings in a new light. Observe every detail on every face, every building and every object. If you do this often enough it will become a habit that will facilitate your being alive in every moment of the year.
4. Change your attitude. Begin an attitude-redevelopment plan. That means practice enjoying everything you do.
5. Be specific about what you want and take action. Decide on one thing that you would like to work on and do it today. Work at it daily, rather than making it a long-range objective.
6. Create a self-improvement agenda for yourself. Put on your agenda whatever activities you’ve always thought about but never had time to do. Do them now.
7. Rid yourself of mundane chores that are not really that important. Spend more time making your life a pleasure.
8. Eliminate procrastination as a lifestyle. Instead of talking to yourself about what you are going to do next week or even tomorrow, use this time to start a new task.
9. Don’t give up control of your life to others. You cannot enjoy the present moment if you are busy trying to make everyone else like you. People respect you more when you operate from a position of strength and self-reliance.
10. Feel good about yourself. You are a magnificent human being. Always feel good about that self that you are always with.
(*Taken from https://www.facebook.com/drwaynedyer)

When setting goals do not ask for what you want, this is living in the future, but state it for the date, as if it is  now i.e It is now 28th July 2015 and I am..., give yourself the visual so that you can create those feelings and then every day see it and feel it, take positive action and complete the stepping stones for that one day, appreciating and giving gratitude to the mini-goals achieved in that moment.

If all you do is worry about the big goal, you can create stress and overwhelm, a huge reason why many stop working on their resolutions eight days into the new year. Today is a good day to let go of past negative emotions that do not serve you, and create new, more positive and empowering emotions to take with you, every day, into the New Year.
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If you suspect that old negative emotions and beliefs are holding you back and you are ready to let them go now find out how it is possible HERE and contact Sam, an expert in women's progression.
Be Brave, Be Beautiful...and a very Happy and Holsam New Year. 
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6 Steps to Thrive (not just survive) the Holidays

12/24/2014

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It's Christmas Eve; for many this is the last day at work for a few days, and now full focus can go on embracing the holidays. 

So what now? Are you excited about the joy and memories that the next few days will bring? Or are you simply relieved to be off work for a few days, but dreading the manic craziness of the Christmas season? 

Many people see Christmas as a time for added stress - here you are, with perhaps two weeks off, and your thoughts turn to the planning, the overwhelm, the expectations, the finances, the things yet to do and buy, the people you spend all year avoiding that you now have to see and how overweight or tired you'll be by the end of it!


Today you can set your intentions and focus so that you can thrive this holiday and enjoy it as it's meant be:

1) If it's not done, don't worry about it.  There's the saying that goes, 'those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind'. So you've run out of the perfect wrapping paper, you forgot to buy the brandy snaps, you didn't send a card to your cousin (sorry cuz) - these things just add to the stress as we look at all we didn't do! Let's switch focus, to how thoughtful you are, how you did the best you could, and how your family are just happy that you're here...even if you did forget the brandy snaps! 


2) Laugh. If it's not perfect, that's perfect for you! Laugh about it. Embrace the games that get wheeled out at this time of year, take part, and laugh if you lose. Laugh about that gift that doesn't quite fit, and laugh about the presents being wrapped in old newspapers! It's the thought that counts after all!

3) Be thankful. Practicing gratitude is the key to happiness, and at this time of year it's especially important. We set our expectations so high - not just on others, but on ourselves. It has to be perfect, and if it's not it means we're not. It doesn't. At this time of year in our ever increasing consumer society the focus can be on the 'not enough'; not enough food on the table, not enough money spent, not enough thought given, not enough people in the room... you get the drift! Whatever is in your life, be grateful that you have it; health; work; family; friends; opportunity; a roof over you head... be thankful for what you do have, and you will get even more of it.

4) Be two logical levels ahead. Christmas can be a time of year where we have to see some members of the family that perhaps we would rather not. Firstly, we don't have to do any such thing. Let's be honest here, if you are spending time with a family member that you perhaps don't connect with as much as you'd like to, there is some feedback to pay attention to. If you would like to have a better connection, work out how you can make that happen, if you think you have to do it, work out according to whom - perhaps you are doing this is because it's important to another family member who is more important to you...so focus on them and making sure their Christmas is actually made happier for it! You turning up with an attitude is not going to make them happy. The simple fact is, you control your actions and reactions. So set your intentions, how would you like the  day to go, take that picture and attitude with you and you may be surprised at how things work out.  When  you anticipate that someone will be a pain to spend some time with you can either go expecting that (ensuring it will happen) or you can go expecting that and knowing how you can react differently (ensuring you are two logical levels ahead of them and changing the outcome). Just try it!

5) Plan some 'me' time. With all the time off coming up it is easy to believe you must cram in all the things that others expect of you. But what do you really want? 'Me' time is commonly associated with alone time, but it doesn't have to be. What do you really want to do? Want some time to yourself, with a loved one, or your immediate family unit, then you must create it. It's OK to say no; simply say it nicely, explain what you want (not what you don't want) and get planning...make sure you do it though. You are a priority, a goal without action is simply a dream, so make it happen!

6) See it for what it is, for you. The media and movies will have us believe that this season is all about family and romance, providing you with the perfect excuse to hold a Christmas pity party for one if these things are not in your life. Stop it! Christmas can be anything you want it to be; want to feel part of a family, go do some volunteer work; want to experience love, love yourself first. This is a time of year that people allow themselves to wish others well, seasons greetings are every where and it can be easy to imagine that you are the only one alone, the only one who has to work, the only one who doesn't connect with all the family you do have. Well, it's time to tell yourself a different story. Every one of us has special, unique qualities, we are all capable of giving and receiving love, but if Christmas for you means a nice chilled out day in front of the TV with a box of Twiglets, embrace it, if it means working on something you love love it, and if you have the time to help others do it. There are no rules for Christmas so if you have some time off decide what you want to do with it, what will make you most happy, and see it for what it is for you.

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Wishing you a very merry Christmas from Sam at Holsam Life.

If you're feeling in a rut get the top tips to go from scared to successful free e-book HERE.
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My Top Three Career Lessons of 2014

12/19/2014

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Finding the lessons from life (and learning from them) is the best way to practice gratitude and the easiest way to find true happiness. Life comes with its ups and downs, it is up to us to find the lesson in both. In my newsletters I usually share the ups, but here are some moments of 2014 where I needed to spend a little extra time finding the lesson to learn:
1) It's OK to turn it down if it doesn't feel like the right fit.

I say this as a business owner but actually this lesson can relate to anything you want to say no to. Being true to you is so important - don't apologise for it!

I was coming to the end of a work peak and was considering where the next payment would come from, when I was offered an unpaid speaking gig, and for a moment I wavered. My thoughts went between 'this could be the place where the next income comes from' to 'it doesn't feel like the right fit.' I decided to trust  and I did turn it down; two days later I was offered a speaking event with 'Triumph'. Ironic? No. Perfect! In those two days though I wondered...

Trust yourself and take a leap of faith - when you turn down what you don't want, it leaves room for what you deserve.

2) Don't let one person ruin your whole day.

I often support my clients in reaching the understanding that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, and although I have been there in the past I live that to the point I usually don't notice. Until recently. I had retweeted something I was excited about and a fellow tweeter responded saying that I was a fake. 

Wow, admittedly I was floored for a moment but I'm so grateful to that man, because I became conscious of my usually unconscious habits. Tempted as I was to delete him and the offending tweet, I responded to thank him for his feedback on other coaches in his experience of which I knew nothing since we'd never met. My lovely and supportive friends couldn't believe I wasn't angry, but this feedback was about him, not me - I did not know him. 


When someone says or does something hurtful, whether we know them or not, we can always thank them for their feedback, decide if it about them or us, and then delete accordingly. That my lovelies, is our choice.

3) Celebrate your successes

In October this year I achieved every one of my business goals set six months before, and I confess...I didn't notice! Well, I did notice, then I thought 'wow, I achieved that exactly as I said I would' and then I immediately turned my thoughts to 'what next?', and as I picked at that 'what next' question I lost sight of those successes and became concerned that I didn't have my new goals in place, I didn't know what I was doing next, everyone else was busy, they knew what they were doing, look how successful they are... and I started to unravel. 

This is the power of negative emotions, they are four times stronger than positive emotions so we have to be really clear, if you choose to listen to the negative make sure you have a contingency plan. I invest in a coach, but for you it could be just writing it out until you empty them out and see them for what they really are...a pile of bullshit! How do you choose to react when you find yourself going down that negative path?

You could be driving in the most beautiful car in the world, but if you are sitting inside thinking about having a car crash you are unlikely to enjoy the ride! So focus on what you want, take positive action and remove any negative thoughts or emotions that come up along the way. Celebrate your successes and enjoy the ride!
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What are your career lessons of 2014? Do share in the comments below:

Remember now is not just a time to reflect, but a time to consider what you really want for next year. I mean really. 

To find out how to do that in an empowering way so that you can make 2015 your best year yet sign up for your newsletters and watch out for the first one of the year.
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How to make money doing what you love...

12/5/2014

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According to a recent survey a massive one in three workers earn extra cash from a creative hobby, and half of them say they would like to make this their main job. So that's one and a half people (?) in three who want to quit their job and make money doing what they really want.

So what is stopping them?

Well according to my recent survey more than half fear failure, and the second biggest worry is money. Welcome to the common and vicious thought cycle - of course if you think you are going to fail you will worry about money, because if business fails, where is the income coming in from?

J.K Rowling famously said 'it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.' Sometimes you just have to take the leap of faith.

I recently gave a talk where we discussed the common belief of not being good enough - the thing is sometimes that belief is real... you just need to add a 'yet' to the end of the sentence.  When we remove the belief linked to 'imposter syndrome', the feeling or thoughts we have of not being good enough despite being at the top of our game, despite life being pretty rosy actually, despite attracting all the best things, then we are free to know what is real. Sometimes we are not good enough (yet) - sometimes we need more experience, training, qualifications, skills...but if you are using that as a reason not to start you are procrastinating!

So if you want to make money doing what you love, if you are that one, or even half a person who is ready to quit your job for a career turning your passions to profits then simply:

1) Decide what you want to do and by when
2) Do your research
3) Work out your finances
4) Identify your support network
5) Decide what is the next step

And if you're wondering what that might be you may be interested to find out more about the forthcoming course I am collaborating on with enterprise activists 'Fox and Monkey'.

Find out more by clicking on the picture, and when you complete the survey you will be first in line for special offers - stop procrastinating, start doing! 

"Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom." Jim Rohn
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Sam Holman is an expert in women's progression, helping women unlearn old fears that have held them back in the past so they are free to notice all the amazing opportunities that are available to them...and have the confidence to go grab them!
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    Sam D Holman, EzineArticles Basic PLUS Author

    Hi! My name is Sam 

    I'm an advocate of brave, passionate about helping people to break through their bull shit to live life in the amazing and achieve their goals easily. 

    I believe that brave is the new beautiful... and I want you to believe that too.
    x

    P.S Please feel free to comment and share. 

    CONTACT ME HERE

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