I'm too busy, too old, too fat, too thin, too tired...I don't have enough money, enough experience, enough time, enough tools, enough support...I'm not good enough, not motivated enough, not famous enough..ENOUGH ALREADY!

The key to getting what you want is to stay focused on what you do have; so you don't have enough experience yet? Well, how are you ever going to get it if you keep telling people that?! Focus on the fact that you have determination and motivation because you are passionate about what you want to learn and they are great traits to help get your foot in the door.

Your excuses are helping to keep you in a comfort zone. They are there to protect you, and keep you in the world that is your truth. But what if it's not true? What if you can do it with what you have? How would life look then?

It's not what you haven't got, it's what you can do with what you have got.
 
                                                                     Be brave, be beautiful

I'd love your comments. What's been your biggest excuse?

How do you feel when you don't succeed? Discouraged? Depressed? Fed-up?

Does it make you want to give up? Does it make you think the world isn't supporting you? Think you're not good enough or don't deserve it? Perhaps you’ll remind yourself of past failures just to compound the belief, and then start to run an internal dialogue that supports you (because we so like to be right).

I recently met a girl of 18, who was taking an exam for the third time and convinced she was going to fail. Her confidence was going down, and stress levels going up. She had previously missed out on passing these exams by a matter of a few points, but before this she had always had amazing results at school and university. Now the pressure was on because she’d experienced her first fail, and this made it worse. As she sat down to study, she would remember the past failures, and start to tell herself she would probably fail again, this led to a lapse in concentration and she would find it impossible to study (hence making sure she was not well prepped for the exams, which would have lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy). Luckily she had the lady-balls to seek help, but I bet we can all relate to this in some way, I know I can.

If I paint a picture of a famous author, writer of 17 books, including a best-seller that has been translated into 38 languages and sold in over 100 countries, you'd probably see only their success and wouldn’t think about whether they had to face the thought of failure, especially not over and over again.

Author Susan Jeffers once received a rejection letter that said, 'Lady Di could be cycling nude down the street giving this book away and nobody would read it.’ Wow, what amazing feedback! Can you even imagine opening that kind of letter - knowing that someone actually took the time to write those words about something you had worked hard on and totally believed in.

This followed many other rejection letters and was written about her now best-selling, life-changing book, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’. She says in the foreword of the book: 'So many publishers rejected it in the beginning that I almost gave up trying to have it published.’

But she didn't give up - she focused on what she wanted, and she was taking action…over and over again. She went on to find a publisher and created a phenomenon, changing thousands of other peoples' lives.

If you believe in something, whatever it is, don't give up on it. No matter how far away success sometimes seems, no matter what response you get from others, no matter how hard it looks now. 

Believe in what you want, stay focused, take action and delete that thought of failure, choose to tell yourself instead that you are worthy – after all, a thought is exactly what it is. 

Want support with your goals? Learn how to get rid of the negative chatter that holds you back? Come along to the free three-part webinar series to find out how you can be free to make 2014 your year. 
                           Book now to get access http://bravesolution2014.eventbrite.co.uk?s=19171845

Are you being you? Unique, special, amazing you? Or are you holding yourself back? Do you re-run scenarios in your head, past or future, wishing you had said, done, or been something/someone different?

I recently had an email from someone who said that they are finding it hard to stay motivated and focused in their work, and as our emails went back and forth, he went into admitting that actually, he was stopping himself because he feared what others may say or think of him.

What a man! Take a bow the guy who dares to be honest. Is he walking around in fear? No. Does he have a fear that is holding him back and impacting on what he chooses to focus on, and therefore be motivated by? Hell, yes! Let's face it, who would be motivated by a thought that at the end of all your hard work you will fail and people will say "I told you so."

We spend so long comparing ourselves to others, that we forget to compare ourselves to ourselves. We forget to notice our own unique qualities and instead notice all that we think we don't have (limiting belief by the way), we start to convince ourselves we are not good enough, and of course then we put that on others - they probably don't think I am good enough either, they are probably wondering who I am to be doing what I am doing. 

What would it do for you to know that their thoughts are exactly the same, how would you behave then?

As we come towards the end of 2013 and wonder what we have achieved and what we want for ourselves in 2014, now is a good time to reflect. Here are three questions that you can ask yourself to reflect with courage, and notice how you are already, uniquely you;

1) What are you doing today that you couldn’t have done 5, 3 or even 1 year ago? How have you stepped out in the last year that you might have found inconceivable before?

2) What new decisions have you made or what new actions have you taken that have resulted in you moving in a new direction in your life?

3) What are your wins this year, compared to last year at this time? How has your life improved? How haveyou improved? What have you done recently that you never thought you could do?

In other words, how have you continued to become a new and improved version of yourself?

Want to make 2014 is your year? Ready to identify what has been holding you back in the past? Get focused, motivated and inspired to take action now and achieve your goals - attend the free 3 part webinar series with me and special guests; experts in image, health and fitness.  Book now:                                             http://bravesolution2014.eventbrite.co.uk?s=19171845

I often ask people to ask themselves, what can I do today to make it even better? Firstly, this question is so empowering, as you can take the control and give your brain some direction to find the good in your day. The answer can often surprise us too, as we may find we look for something that we can do for others.

And that leads me to today's post. 

Two years ago I spent some time in the Philippines.  What an amazing unspoilt place, with beautiful and warm people - it was love at first sight. One night I was walking along a crowded street in Manila, when I heard a baby crying. Sometime ago, long before I decided to change minds, I changed nappies (I was a nanny) and I recognised this cry as one to take notice of - and yet no body was. 

Eventually I saw this baby. She was no older than two years old and was sitting on some steps.  Despite being covered in dirt, she was beautiful, but her face was full of sadness, her big eyes brimming with tears, her bottom lip quivering. Most alarmingly, she was alone.

The street was so busy, I was swept along and even then, had to rush to keep up with my companion. We found a bar not far from these steps, and I sat there, fiddling with my drink, distracted by the image of that baby girl. 

Sometimes I think it was in that moment I realised how trivia my problems were, and how my life purpose wasn't being met in the work I was doing at the time. Yes, I taught people how to speak English, and I had some amazing students who tell me now how I made a difference to them...but it wasn't enough.

I was told not to go back to find that little girl, that the parents would be close by, hoping a stranger would stop and give her money. I wanted to give her a baby wipe and some food... so I did go back, but she had gone. That image stayed with me for some time, I painted it, wrote stories about it, and eventually, made the decision to make a difference in my work, for women, and by default, for their children.

A few days back I came across this photo of myself (right) and my brother (left) holding my little sister up. Clearly we thought this was the funniest thing in the world at the time, but it got me all gushy about the people who are around us and the support we all need when we want to achieve something BIG.

When I decided to take the leap from employment to self employment in pursuit of my dreams, not one person tried to talk me out of it..not one!! In fact, some of my original and best clients have come from referrals of friends who totally believe in me and in what Holsam Life is all about.

Yet perhaps the reason I am so surprised by this fact is that I myself had a little niggle, a 'what if' in the back of my mind. We are not brought up to believe that there is any other way than going to school, needing specific qualifications, going to university, getting a job, a promotion, a mortgage, marriage, a family and a dog!

I do see value in all of these things, just not necessarily in that order! So although I didn't quite believe it was possible, but I told myself every day that it was, and I told everyone around me that it was... and they believed me! So because they believed in me, when I faltered, they held me up...they supported me, using my own words on me, and so I began to really believe in me.... and the cycle of belief became stronger and stronger. It's an amazing feeling to have that level of belief in yourself, but also to have it projected onto you from others, so I wanted to share how you can do this too.

Here are my top tips to identifying your support (and increasing your self-belief by default);

1) Know what you want - get really clear on it!

2) Tell yourself you can achieve it - picture yourself achieving it every day.

3) Consider what resources you need - it could be physical (like money) or it could be emotional (like confidence). 

4) Identify who has what you want and surround yourself with those people - people who are financially successful, friends who are confident, those who have made their passions into paid work. Mix in their circles, follow them on Twitter and Facebook, read their books, write them emails (don't get too creepy and know when to stop; you want them to want to support you, not feel drained by being with you).

5) Be accountable. Tell your friends and family of your plans. Note - If you do not, you are likely to be saying that you don't believe you can get it, because if you tell them, and you fail, then it's embarrassing etc. Tell them. Let them support you and urge you on in your moments of self-doubt (which you will get if you are human!!).
 
                                                            Be Brave, Be Beautiful

I'd love you to share your comments here -