When I confessed that I too used to be 'shy', the other person laughed in disbelief. OK, so now I can talk to anyone, and I stand in front of people and do presentations and workshops, but even when I had been doing this as a 'job' for many years, I would use the word shy to describe myself in a social setting. I saw someone, my old self in fact, who would blush and stammer their way through first meetings with the style and grace of a crimson ballet-dancing elephant!
So what changed? First of all, I started seeing things from another perspective. This was, after all, my involuntary reaction from an overactive sympathetic nervous system, which I was creating as a result of my perception of the situation I was facing. So how could I look at this differently?
The real question was, what did I believe about myself to think that what I had to say was not as good as what someone else had to say and what was I so afraid of? The fear of success? We are taught very early on not to show off! Perhaps the fear of failure? Looking stupid and not being good enough are very popular limiting beliefs that can be stuck there in the unconscious mind. And even when we know they are ridiculous, can be difficult to shift without support.
As a Master NLP Coach I now know that fighting wasn't necessary, and there is a simple yet effective way to deal with anxiety, which I would like to share with you. This involves using your imagination as effectively as you do to create the feelings of anxiety. This can be used easily, subtley and quickly, whether it is for the presentation you have to give at work, or the date you want to go on. So if you are ready to let it go, that's good, read on...
Now, as you think of the situation that you are anxious about, see yourself fifteen minutes after the successful completion of the event. What can you see? What can you hear? What can you feel? And now, where is the anxiety?
If you still have it you may need to practice the SUCCESSFUL part of the completion. When you tell your unconscious mind what it needs to know, it will communicate that information to your body, and your behaviors will change accordingly. So what are you telling yourself?