We have all experienced the frustrations of being stuck in a rut, going round and round in circles with no clue how to break free. We ask ourselves the same questions, get the same answers, and take the same actions, in the end we can't see the wood for the trees, feel stressed and useless, and just want to stop the world and get off!
       “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”- Albert Einstein



So here are my top tips on how to move forward and create that change -

1) Focus on what you want

Be really clear and specific. Your goal may be something intangible to start with, like happiness or confidence, but give yourself something tangible to aim for, a new job, relationship, travel, a house, a hobby... be honest with yourself. What do you really want?
For more on this get your FREE Happiness E-Book with bonus audio to help you.

2) Take action

When you are clear on your goal, identify what you need to do, who can help you, and take responsibility. Even if your first step is to tell others about your intentions so that you get guaranteed support, you must be prepared to make some changes and take action. What is your first step and when can you do that?

3) Remove negative emotions and limiting beliefs

Easier said than done? That's your decision. What are you thinking to create the feelings you have? What are you telling yourself to know that you can't do something? 
Ever listened to your music collection and noticed how different tunes evoke different memories and feelings? So choose the positive motivational one, play it first thing in the morning to get you moving... and get out of that rut!

Time Line Therapy is an amazing way to remove negative emotions that are not serving you, or limiting beliefs that begin with 'I can't...' to kick start you into achieving that goal. For more information CLICK HERE

Recently I’ve been asked ‘what if Plan A doesn’t work?’ a lot. Students, clients and friends all wondering about the other options, and wanting to develop and nurture a Plan B.

If this is you, or you are a parent helping a child to focus on their Plan B – stop it!

I know, I know… you have to make money whilst building up Plan A. I know because I have been there… numerous times!

When I was 19 I went to Europe for a few months, and when I came back it was with the intention to work for six months, build up some cash, and head to Australia. Ten years later I was on the plane to Australia; such is the power of Plan B.

In Plan B, real life sensible stuff happens and dreams can be forgotten. The power of Plan B is strong, it woos you with talk of pensions and promotions. You start to live for the weekend, and finally feel that you fit in amongst your peers. As Plan B wraps it’s strong arms around you, you feel secure and protected.

And so, Plan A becomes an unrealistic dream – much like dating Brad Pitt, you resign yourself to the reality that it’s meant for someone else, and it was never really going to be yours anyway (not sure Angelina thought that). Now you’ve grown up and you have a real job. Sometimes Plan B can get your down, but hey, that’s life, it would be the same in any relationship, and this is the one you have with your J.O.B.

Eventually Plan A gets forgotten about... almost completely. Every now and then you wonder what happened to that creative side of you, and you allow yourself to day dream with fond memories. You might even go as far as wondering what life would be like now, and then you smile at your silliness and go back to ‘real’ life.

Plan B has won – you belong to it now. But are you really happy? Are you using your natural talents? Are you passionate and excited about your day ahead?

If you really need a Plan B, just to make enough money, decide what is enough and stick to it, decide how long it will take to get it, work out how you can stay focused on Plan A whilst using Plan B for what it’s intended.

                                                  You have the power – don’t give it to Plan B.

On a final note, if you think it’s too late, and maybe you’ve even found some love in Plan B, you can still find a way to re-ignite your passion in your old plans. Hobbies and projects can be just as fulfilling.

If you don’t like where you are now, change it, but if you kind of do and are having trouble accepting it, now is the time to decide to move on and embrace what you do have.

Do you look at your peers and wonder how they got to where they are now, then look at your own life and only notice what you don't have?

They own houses, have families, are successful in their work, they earn what someone your age should be earning, they're happy, they've achieved so much, and you... your latest achievement was getting to work on time!

Everywhere you look you see lack, and the more you see, the more you lack.

So let's change perspective. What were you doing when your friends were on their stereotypical path to success? I'm not knocking normal, but if it's not for you, embrace it! If you decided to trial lots of different jobs, or went back to study when you hit 30, or travelled the world, then what did you achieve?

3 simple ways to recognize your achievements:

1)  Celebrate them, no matter how small. If getting to work on time is not like you, celebrate when you do - bring cakes for everyone as if it's your birthday for an extra bonus, and tell everyone it's because you were on time!
2) Keep a daily journal and reflect on your achievements each night. Let yourself notice them all, from a change in thought, a random act of kindness, to positive feedback. The more you see the more you'll get.
3) Ask your friends and peers what they think you have achieved... and say thank you when they tell you. If you argue that it wasn't really an achievement, you are keeping yourself in a negative state of lack.

Do feel free to comment and share - what have you achieved today?

You look across the hot office, the air con isn't on yet, but you know when it is you’ll have to look outside at the sunshine and blue skies wrapped in your scarf and extra jumper and pretend it’s a sunny winter’s day just to get through it.

You glance at the clock and wonder if it’s time to leave yet – 9.05am.

Myra from accounts walks in complaining about someone’s inability to cross the t’s, again. You know it’s petty stuff, yet you find yourself irritated by the same ridiculous thoughts. Why can’t other people do what you want them to do?  The familiar bubble of frustration starts to rise in your chest, but you swallow it back down and turn your attention to the job at hand.

The job at hand seems meaningless and you wonder what else could be out there for you, and as you stare at the computer screen an itch of a picture starts to form, but you can’t quite grasp it. The thought is a bit scary – what would happen if you could grasp it? You can’t leave here… you know the job, the people, the income… here is safe.

Jim the boss walks in with a face like thunder, you know he’s having a bad time at home, yet for some reason you feel guilty, and a bit paranoid – is it me? He barks at you to drop everything and do some other task he deems as more important. You already start to feel stressed and check the time – 9.15am.

You get your head down and focus on the task ahead, absent-mindedly munching your way through the lunch you brought in just to keep your energy levels up and the boredom at bay.

11 am and the girls are up at the water machine gossiping, you wonder momentarily if they are talking about you, tell yourself that’s ridiculous and then feel hurt that you’re not in their gang enough to know what they are talking about.

There’s a part of you that wants to run, and a part that has a sense of purpose and a need to complete. They need you here after all – what would happen if you left? You catch the thought again and push it away. How can you leave – this was your dream job after all!

Does any of this sound familiar? Perhaps you think this is normal, and you ride it out knowing that these feelings just come and go in life and anyway, it's only a couple of days away from the weekend.  Perhaps you are simply not sure where you could go to, so staying put is the easy answer.

Now imagine this. 

When I returned from 5 years abroad my mum was pretty quick to ask when I was going to sort out my ‘stuff’. ‘Stuff’ being all the clutter I had left behind in her drawers and cupboards, and for 5 years hadn’t even thought about.

I sifted through that ‘stuff’ and with each thing I saw, and held, I could really feel the emotions that were attached to that memory. The happiness, the sadness, the laughter, the tears, the successes and experiences that had added to the rich tapestry that was my life.

And there was the obvious word; was. To really experience life, we must live in the now, as the saying goes, ‘yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, which is why it’s called the present.’

So I threw away that old cork, that signified I was once 18… and the plastic key that told me I was once 21. I slung out the cheap old teddy bear won for me by an ex boyfriend I no longer had contact with, and the old newspaper cutting that showed the obituary of a loved one long gone, though still in my heart. Birthday cards from friends, some still in my life, some not, in the bin, the thoughts and well wishes to be recycled for strangers, and well-loved clothes given to charity, for those not as fortunate as I am now.

There is a place for everything and everything has it’s place….that doesn’t mean it is necessary to keep everything!! I know how important it is for my clients to let go of some things that do not serve them in order to move forward. De-cluttering the mind is just as important as de-cluttering the home -  both will leave you with a sense of feeling lighter and an ability to move forward to uncover that mystery that is the future. Sometimes, the two are so closely linked, it’s difficult to tell which is more important – so perhaps the below top tips will help in de-cluttering your mind….

Adapted from a post written for Homes Decluttered