Ever been in a place where your working day has been better spent in a day dream? And in that dream you are doing all the things you'd love to do but probably couldn't get paid to do.  Then reality seems even harsher when you snap out of it and are faced with feelings of frustration, anger, annoyance, perhaps guilt and sometimes what feels like physical pain.

Now it's time to sit in a meeting where you'd rather chew your own ears off than listen to the pointless points being made, or you look at the pile of paperwork and can no longer make a fun game out of trying to get it all done in a day, perhaps the mere sight or sound of your boss makes you want to scream in a really irrational but oh so releasing way. Perhaps you feel a little dead inside, or maybe worse, your stomach seems to be alive with creepy crawly anxiety ants on a daily basis, and your mouth is continuously dry despite the constant flow of tea or coffee you're drinking just to keep you awake (or give you something else to do).

You ask yourself daily, surely there is more to life than this, and although there may be a small voice inside shouting 'YES!' the louder rational one says, 'well, maybe, but you have looked at jobs and there was nothing, and remember that time that one job did come up, they didn't even reply, let's face it, there's a recession, jobs are hard to come by, I'm probably not experienced enough for what I'd really like to do anyway...' And the little voice that shouts 'YES!' gets drowned out by all the reasons why it's just not possible.

According to *research 'three out of five people in the UK want to change their job but are held back by lack of cash or the right skills.' But as you sit at work and think about your reasons for putting yourself through this everyday, are they really real, or actually is it that you are holding yourself back by fear?

From the same research taken from 3'000 UK workers, some of the top dream jobs include, a writer, a photographer, working for a charity, a musician or singer, a sports trainer, an actor, journalist, racer and artist.

It seems people are searching for purpose, and  want a way to turn passions in profits, yet  you only have to pick up a paper to back up your belief that you can't do it...jobs are still being lost, people are still more experienced than you or perhaps the kind of job you want just doesn't exist. Well think again my friend.

When you look for information to back up your belief you will find it, let's face it, doom and gloom is comfortable and safe; you can't be disappointed at the bottom. But today dare yourself to get out of that uncomfortable so-called comfort-zone to take one small step - simply look for people who have done it. 

Perhaps you think no one has done what you want to do, well have you ever heard of these jobs?

Face feeler - checking that beauty products do what they say, so feeling the softness of models faces.
Gumologist  - basically testing chewing gum, some days are literally spent chewing gum all day.
Waterslide tester - break times include roller coasters and candy floss!
Sommeliar - You must know your wine for this one...hardship!

Stop with the excuses!

To do what you want to do you must start with the belief that you can, so go surround yourself with people who are doing it, read their biographies, follow them on Linkedin (do not follow them down the street), network with people who you admire...

OR you can go for a drink with everyone from the office after work, and complain about the boss, the amount of work, the ethos and (lack of) company values, and as you buy another round, remember to mention that you just can't afford to do what you really want to do.

                                                      Be brave, be beautiful (and go get your new courageous career)

Sam is a qualified careers adviser and is passionate about changing the views of people who think a plan B is necessary (if you really need one decide how long you'll be in it whilst you work on plan A), she is also now trained as a Master NLP coach and works as a 'Guru of Brave' helping women unlearn what has held them back in the past. Get her free e-book full of tips to go from scared to successful HERE.

Comments always welcome:

Think you're not in control of your life? That life is in fact, something that happens to you rather than because of you? Think again!

Many people live life at effect - you know the people who place blame outside of self. All the good stuff, of course you created that, but the bad stuff...not me, that was because of my boss, the economy, my parents, my kids, my finances, the government. How can that be??

When you move to cause you have more power...more control. You can choose your reaction, even if it is a negative reaction you can be happy knowing it was the reaction you needed at the time, or you can learn from it and change it for next time.

Thinking you have no control can make you feel helpless and overwhelmed, so maybe it's time to change your mind:


1. Notice your thoughts
If 90% of what we do is done unconsciously, then how conscious are you of the every day habitual instructions, the ones that you give to yourself to get through your day in a way that makes sense to you.  We think that we are aware of the every day thoughts we have, the loud, really conscious ones that might be a reminder to do something, or a reminder that we have failed in our latest goal (the verbal internal beat up, the constant analysis/creation of a problem) but we have between 70'000-90'000 thoughts in a day. Now do you think you are conscious of all of them? 
The unconscious mind is the part we trust to take control once something becomes a habit, so most of us don't have to be reminding ourselves how to walk every time we take a step...that would be exhausting. So what else has become a habit to you that you don't have to remind yourself to do? Perhaps just thinking that you have no control has become an unconscious habit, thereby making sure you put yourself in situations every day to prove yourself right i.e choosing controlling partners. 
Notice your thoughts - no one else can control them.


2. Know where you are going
Perhaps you think that this one is easier said than done, this is perhaps because you are not allowing yourself to dream big, you are holding yourself back, and this may well be because of a negative emotion, such as fear, linked with a limiting belief, such as 'that kind of thing doesn't happen to me'. It may be true, it doesn't happen to you, because you are not making it happen. You'll know more when you start to notice your thoughts (1) and can start to change them to better serve you. (Get support with your free un-rutify me e-book).
So what would you do if whatever you think is holding you back, wasn't there? Whatever you thought of, make that your goal now. When you know where you are going you can take that goal and work backwards, create mini-goals, reach each one and celebrate each milestone. If you didn't reach it when you hoped you would, reflect on that journey and think about why - now you know what to change for the next time. 
Success doesn't happen overnight, even when the media report these 'over night' successes, there is a back story of failure. 
If someone else has done it, you can do it....you just have to believe it. 

3. Relax
When we are in a relaxed state we are much more resourceful, we notice opportunities and also notice when even more good stuff has happened in our day. Think about it, if you were driving at 3000 revs per minute...life would be going pretty fast, but what happens when you put your foot on the brakes? 
When you are in a negative state, you are consumed by those thoughts and that situation, making it difficult to notice that there really is light at the end of the tunnel and you can take steps towards it now.
Schedule time for you into your day, into your week, and into your month. Even doing 5 minutes of meditation at the end of your day can help. Using tools to remind yourself to relax during your day are as easy and subtle as squeezing your finger and thumb together, and unlearning the habits that have created the stress and the feeling of 'stop the world I want to get off' can be done in 3 weeks (such is the time it takes a habit to form). 

Want to unlearn old habits and be in control of the life you deserve? Work with me - you are in control,  just pick the perfect way that will work for you HERE.

I'd love your comments:

My friend eats cereal for dinner. Nuts? No, breakfast cereal! (Sorry couldn't resist!).  But cereal-ously (OK I'll stop now), some may question this crazy behaviour; breakfast is to be had at breakfast time and dinner is for dinner time right? It's the rule.

Hmm.

Following a pleasant morning of box ticking, I was heading home, coffee cup in hand, and popped into a charity shop to browse. I immediately spotted some bargains and arms full of things to try on I made my way to the back of the shop where I was stopped by a shop assistant who pointed out the 'no drinking or eating' sign in the open doorway.  

"You can't have drinks on the shop floor," she said.
"Oh," I exclaimed. "Sorry." And at a loss as to what she wanted me to do, I replaced all my items on the rail, and left the shop.  

Surely an offer to leave my drink on the counter whilst I continued shopping would make more sense? Surely the rule would be better 'enter with drinks and food at your own risk, any damages must be paid for'. As it was, they missed out on a sale (and a charity donation) and having stopped the reckless rule  breaker/potential customer the assistant merely turned back to what she had been doing without thought.

Health and safety rules I get, rules to ensure we can all get along and live happily in society I understand, but some rules seem to be there just to stop us from living our best lives, and are there to 'control'.  These rules do not always make sense to me, and quite often, we are responsible for placing these kind of rules on ourselves.

Ever said any of these....'I can't...', 'I shouldn't...', 'I should...', 'I really must...', 'I have to...' Ever felt in conflict between what you want to do and what you feel is possible? What rules are you putting on yourself (and/or others) that stops you from living your best life?  Rules can be important, they can serve a purpose, and often the ones we  put on ourselves reflect our inner values, but what about the ones we put there because of limiting beliefs or the need to 'feel' in control?

Here are some common examples (with possible translations):
 I can't ask him out (I don't love myself)
 I can't commit (I'm scared of failing)
I can't change jobs (I'm not good enough)
I must worry about something (I have no control)
I shouldn't eat that (I am unattractive)
I have to do everything myself (I lack trust)

If you find yourself placing rules on yourself, ask yourself what the intention for them is, and allow yourself some degree of flexibility, after all, some rules really are made to be broken.

I'd love your comments. What rules do you think need to be broken (in society or personally)? Want to get out of your own way and break your own rules to breakthrough to your best life....contact me HERE

Pressure to be perfect starts at school. I have noticed a general theme of 'don't make a costly mistake' from as early as Year 8 (pre-option choices)! 

Let's face it, we all think that we make mistakes, and living with regret can impact on a fear of the future, because of course, you can never change the past, but you can make sure you don't leap again. I ask my clients and my students, what is the absolute worst case scenario that can happen. If we didn't make 'mistakes', we would probably not be where we are now and how can we even know that the other option was better?

Can you notice all that you have now? Perhaps you chose travel over career (me too) - how much more enriched is your life; think about what you saw, who you met, experiences you had. What about the other way round, career over travel? How good did it feel to have that promotion, to be able to afford your own home, to start a family? It is never too late to pursue the one you didn't do now. Remember, whatever you did was perfect for you at the time.

Exploring worst case scenarios of facing fears, one client said she might stand up in the middle of her office and shout that she has quit (very Jerry McGuire!), so we explored what would happen next, and actually, she painted a nice picture of finding other work and spending time at home, whilst her supportive husband continued being supportive to a much less stressed wife. Hmm..not a bad worst case scenario really.

I also worked with an 18 year old girl, whose worst case scenario was failing her A level in Biology (she meant getting a D again). Together we explored what would happen if she did. She wanted to be a nurse, she needed the Biology A level, yet without it she was done studying and would travel, perhaps volunteer overseas, in a hospital in fact, and perhaps later in life, would reapply to study as a mature student (with valuable experience). Her face lit up as she talked about the overseas experience, she was excited by her worst case scenario and suddenly she was able to switch her focus and feel relaxed about her studies (a much more resourceful place to be).

Sometimes facing your fear is all you need to do to realize there can be happy endings in mistakes, I mean, look at Snow White!

Removing old fears that have held you back in the past is easy with NLP and Time Line Therapy coaching. Find out more HERE.