The other day I found myself spotting for a bus. I'm only little, so to be directing this bus from behind, I found myself thinking ( yes I probably should have been more focused) that this big bus, with all it's passengers, and the driver of course, was trusting me to direct it through a maze of parked cars (don't ask).

This got me thinking about direction (and trust). We all need it, yet many are afraid to give it to ourselves, or ask for it, or even follow the directions once given.....yet none of us would jump in a car to get from one side of the country to a small lesser known road on the opposite side of the country without directions, so why do we deny ourselves access to the path on our personal journey? 

Fear of disappointment or of failure can be debilitating, because, let's face it, if we don't give ourselves direction then we probably aren't going anywhere specific. Can you imagine looking back on your life, when you are old and tucked up in bed, reflecting on the life you have had, and being pleased that you didn't give yourself some direction, or a sense of purpose? You didn't trust yourself to hand over that map that had the big cross on it showing you where to find your own personal treasure chest.... but that's OK, because you played safe, you bobbed about like a cork in the ocean, and when there was a storm, you survived it and went wherever life (or someone else's life) took you. OK, so you weren't that happy, but life was simple, easier, when you didn't have to face disappointment...you knew where you stood when you were standing still. Yes, it got a little boring, and frustrating knowing you never reached your full potential, but that's normal, all the other people that were just standing still told you that was fact. Yep, having no direction was up there with one of the best non-decisions I ever made.

Hmm....

Or perhaps you could look back on your life and laugh at all the adventures you had, when you were trying to follow the directions. Perhaps it didn't always go to plan, but you reached your goals, time and again. You had focus and determination, you inspired others and even if you didn't find that treasure chest, you ticked many boxes along the way, and that was a priceless life experience which can never be disappointing.

Dare to dream...when you do, you may find the sense of direction you never knew you had.

Need some support? As well as directing big buses I can help you find your direction and purpose. Contact me today.

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Whether you want the perfect career, relationship, lifestyle, or family there is always the same thing getting in the way...you! Yes whether it's just out of reach, you almost had it, or you had it and lost it there is one common denominator. 

So let's look at career for now - 

You may think you don't know what your perfect career is. Maybe that's because your perfect career doesn't exist - yet?

Maybe you think that you can't get paid what you need to earn in your perfect career?

Maybe you think you're not supposed to get paid for doing what you love?

How about these... I'm not experienced enough, I don't have the right qualifications, I don't know where to start, it's not realistic, I'm not special enough...why would anyone pay ME to do that? Not confident enough, not clever enough, not blah blah blah blah blah!

You get my drift.

As mock exams and real ones are kicking in in schools all over the UK young people are feeling the pressure of decision time, and are struggling to find their purpose - what is it all for? What if I make a mistake? Can you remember that time, being lost and confused, people giving you their opinions on what you can do with your skills - which path did you take back then? The safe one...or are you still searching for your path? 

Take a look at this visual on the left, detailing the paths of five self-made millionaires. Is where you are now today a stepping stone towards what you really want, or are you stuck in your plan B and growing roots from standing still too long? 

Many young people I work with want to know what they can do as a back up plan. At the age of 17 I wonder where they get the idea that they need one? Yes there is competition, labour market statistics may not be in your favour but the minute we give focus on the negative and what we can't do instead, we lose focus of the dream.

So at some stage in our lives we have a look around and don't recognise the path we have lead ourselves up. Perhaps we don't feel valued, satisfied, or happy, perhaps we don't think we have respect from our boss, or are frustrated that we are not utilizing our skills.

So first of all, let's get real. Nothing is perfect, (that's what makes it perfect) and your reaction to that is everything. How you feel is feedback - what are you telling yourself? 

Is it time to take that leap and create that career for yourself, or do you simply need to take a fresh perspective and see all that this route has and is giving you? Is it really your boss who needs to show you some respect, or are you putting blame outside of yourself and it's you who needs to respect yourself?

Whatever the answers are, know that you cannot bullsh*t yourself...but you can breakthrough to your brave!

Sam Holman runs online coaching programmes to help support people get clarity and confidence to go for what they really want. Find out more at www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

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A self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it is already true. Some call this The Law of Attraction (see, for example, Rhonda Byrne’s 2006 self-help book The Secret), but there’s really nothing mystical about it.

NLP is effectively the manual for the mind, noticing how thoughts affects language, which affects our behaviour, and gets us what we inadvertently set out to achieve. Confused? Let me give you an example:

I used to go into a party situation with dread, what will people think of me, how can I leave early, I have nothing interesting to say...I'm not confident! Of course I would go into the party with this belief and thoughts, stumble my way through the party and look for opportunities to leave and getting exactly what I expected..that was my reality. Now I go into parties wondering who I will meet, knowing I am good with people, and my language and behaviour give me a completely different outcome. So which one is reality? Whichever I choose.

There is a saying 'fake it until you make it' and there is a lot of truth in that saying (ironic huh?).  It's a great way to create a new habit and break old cycles that are no longer serving you. Personally I think if you are faking it for too long this can be stressful and you are not genuinely buying into the belief that you want to adopt (see Time Line Therapy for a good alternative to DIY). 

Perhaps you know someone who says that they are not good at networking or selling their business, they always fall apart when they have to give presentations, take exams or go for interviews, perhaps this is even about their personal lives, how many people do you know who say relationships don't work, or they keep getting the same type of man...aka the wrong type? 

My advice, if you have noticed a pattern in a certain area of your life, start to notice your thoughts, pay attention to what you thinking and what you are consequently getting. Are you happy to be proving yourself right, or is it time to change those old results now?

If you think it is time for change, remove those old beliefs and move forward to get what you really want and you would like to have a chat to find out how you can have your own personal breakthrough CONTACT ME today.

Do feel free to comment and share - what patterns do you notice in your own life?