I have a confession to make, and I almost feel that I have to swear you to secrecy. OK, here it comes...I am having a love affair, with myself. Yep, I said it, I love myself... and (despite it being a bit of a dirty secret) I'm proud of it too. I have one life to live and without this attitude I don't think it would be half as good as it is.

Let me explain - in love, I want someone to take care of me, to say nice things to me, to occasionally treat me and make me laugh, I like a listening ear and someone who can give good advice, who doesn't give me a hard time if I sometimes ignore that advice, and say I told you so. Someone who understands me and forgives me if I mess up, and someone who accepts that I am not perfect, but knows my imperfections kind of make me perfect. 

See all those things I just said... I give that to myself (even the making myself laugh, and yes I do look like a bit of a nutter sometimes, and no, I don't care).

Today is the most romantic day of the year, or so we are told by those fabulous marketing agents. Most of us know that Valentine's Day is commercial rubbish; let's face it, if you love someone you shouldn't be depending on one particular date to kick you up the back-side to pull some romance out of the bag.  Yet there are still many singletons that will be dreading it... I know, I used to be one of them. But before you dismiss me as one of those sickly reformed characters who has now found 'the one' and is skipping into the sunset trying to get everyone else loved up and married off too, let me explain.

I will spend this valentine's day on my own...just as I have for the last few years, the biggest difference is my improved relationship with myself. So if you want to find the greatest love of all this valentine's day, take Whitney's advice, and find it inside of yourself.

                                                            Be brave, be beautiful

Want a better relationship with yourself? Book your place on the 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' online coaching programme NOW. Starts 17th March and is only for those people who want to have the confidence and support to go for what they really want, be it in business or in your personal life, learning tools to remove negative emotions so that you are free to notice opportunities such as fab relationships, improved careers, and making more money along the way!! SPACES LIMITED so book yours NOW -www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

This morning as I walked to work I was affected by a very small interaction, and as I carried the thoughts of what I had just witnessed along the road with me, I pondered on the impact of that situation on the others that were more directly involved.

Let me explain what I saw: a young woman was crossing at the pedestrian crossing whilst looking at her phone, and as she neared the pavement a frustrated and impatient driver, another woman, beeped her horn, causing the girl to look up from her phone in a startled and somewhat embarrassed way, as it dawned on her that the negative emotions were aimed in her direction.

OK, I am being slightly ironic with the spreading the love title, but bear with me.

As I walked down the road, only a witness to this scene, I was aware of the bad feeling that I was now carrying. My walk to work had had an injection of negativity from a stranger being angry at another stranger for no real reason; but what of these two women who had gone on their way? Was the woman, who had driven off shaking her head now embarrassed by her reaction, or was she still muttering angrily under her breath, and what was really going on for her that she didn't have the patience to wait as a pedestrian crossed at the, erm, pedestrian crossing?

What of the pedestrian? Was she now feeling annoyance toward a stranger who had interrupted her walk to work, perhaps she had been reading a text message that had contained emotive news, happy or sad, and now her thoughts had been turned unexpectedly elsewhere. Perhaps she has her own beliefs that she is stupid, has all the bad luck or nothing ever goes right, and that moment just backed up her beliefs.

Perhaps neither of them thought anything of it, that's just life, people get angry bursts and move on...only I was still pondering on it. 

Negative thoughts and emotions are four times stronger than positive, so if you are finding yourself getting bursts of unnecessary anger being directed at others, perhaps you need to ask yourself what is the true purpose of the anger, and is it working for you, or is it time to address what is really going on underneath it?

Make your aim to make a positive difference in someone's life every single day and notice how the happy thoughts grow stronger, and make a difference to your life. Spread the love and the love will find you.

                                                                    Be brave, be beautiful

Want to learn new habits and remove negative emotions? Check out the 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' online coaching programme starting 17th March for all the tools and techniques you need to have sunbeams shining out of your face. Book NOW - www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info

Ever wondered how it is that you seem to keep attracting the same kind of ______________ (boss, job, co-workers, partner, relationship, money patterns, friends etc.)?

What are you seeing in these things that is the same? A characteristic? A behaviour? A story?

On a recent trip back from London, whilst gazing out of the window at the countryside whizzing past, I was reflecting on a conversation I'd just had (that sounded very much like a conversation I'd had before), and I suddenly remembered the long period of time that I had had double vision. During this time, when people asked how I coped, I would describe this to others as the fact that you can look outside of a window and ignore the reflection on the glass, focusing only on the beauty beyond. During those two years I was able to choose what I was focusing on...just as we all can, when we look out of a window. 

So back to the conversation that I felt I had had before, yet in a different time, place and with someone completely different. 'Perception is projection' is an idea that stems from Carl Jung, the Swiss Psychologist, and in a nutshell means, what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves, and what you perceive in others is what you are putting out there (projecting)...which then becomes your reality.

So think about this - what if, when we look at others, what we are seeing is actually a reflection of us and we are not allowing ourselves to notice the beauty in them; the frustrated boss, the jobs that are not letting us reach our full potential, the unhappy co-workers, the untrustworthy partners, the lack of commitment in a relationship, the 'not enough' mentality around money, or the insecure friends. What if what you see, feel or hear... is actually you, and you are not allowing yourself to notice the beauty in you? Whoah!

It is certainly a reality that you can choose what you focus on, and when you see things in others that you don't like, just take a moment to check in with yourself - is it really them you are seeing, or a reflection of yourself?

                                                                  Be brave, be beautiful

Want some help to change your repeat patterns and live life beyond the reflection? Online coaching programme 'Breakthrough to Your Brave' starts again on 17th March - click on this LINK and secure your spot NOW.

I was recently interviewed by the Female Entrepreneur Association and the story was published in the 'How she did it' section (Read HERE). Feeling pretty chuffed to have the opportunity to inspire others I also had a moment to reflect on whether I truly have done it, how I got to this point....and actually, what 'it' is!

When I had my first taste of coaching, I didn't get it. After a few weeks I started to get frustrated with my investment of time and money. Dammit, I had paid for a miracle, and I hadn't got it. OK, I'd given up smoking without thought, and suddenly found my head clear of negative thought and emotions, and yes, I'd been randomly approached by a publisher to write a book of short stories - but where was my yellow beetle??

Undeterred, I decided to invest further, because I had noticed the good stuff that was different, even though it wasn't quite what I was hoping for, perhaps I had to pay more. I continued to have some amazing breakthroughs, but immediately following, I still had a botched eye operation that gave me double vision and found myself in the UK with no where to live and no form of income - what the...??? OK, yes, I had got an all expenses paid short term job in Italy, where I had always wanted to go, and OK, I had that televised intimate lunch with Alan Cumming, but where was my car??

Now aware of my 'failure' I knew I had invested a huge amount of money and wanted to make it work, so I continued with my tasking, my new habits, my positive language and behaviour. I was conscious of my thoughts and retrained my brain to think differently, I noticed opportunities and grabbed them. I talked and wrote about what I had learnt constantly - and one day I noticed that things I said I actually meant, there was no doubt.

I believe 'it' is having the passion, confidence, determination and commitment to go for what you want...and self development and building a business is an ongoing process. Knowing what you want, focusing on it, taking action and having an absolute belief I can. I have no doubt.

I have a picture of success. A yellow beetle is what keeps me motivated, as I work towards it, but it means more than a car to me. It means freedom, travel, connection to friends and family... the list is fairly extensive and I know it will come when I am ready! So although I don't have that car (yet), I definitely have the rest of 'it'....and luckily I love to walk! 

See www.breakthroughtoyourbrave.info to learn all the tools you need, to unlearn what is holding you back from going for your goals with complete confidence.
Be brave, be beautiful.