Was staying in the EU like staying in the wrong relationship?
My friends and family shared post after post, using words like, angry, sad, disappointed and afraid... and I felt it too. Why? Because they were feeling it. because we are going into the unknown. The negative energy behind their words was creating a fear and sadness in me, where in truth, my life as it is right now is just as great as it was yesterday.
The simple fact is, we don't know what will happen, we can only listen to predictions and buy into them. Which ones we buy into is our choice, and this choice will determine our actions. Another choice we made was electing a party in the UK who was promising a referendum on the EU leave or remain campaign. We chose this....did we choose it so we could keep things as they are? I doubt it.
Whilst I myself voted remain, the percentage of the leave/remain results was about as clear as I was on my decision. I ignored the majority of the campaign from the politicians on both sides, because I felt that both sides largely tapped into the UK's fears and angers, and I honestly could see positives in both choices.
The simple fact is that the EU and the UK was a relationship that wasn't working as it should, where the majority of people are happy about it; David Cameron spoke on behalf of the nation to try to make it work, and the EU could not compromise enough to maintain the relationship.
So I reflect on relationships that I have been in that have not worked; I have tried to resolve our differences first, but if my partner cannot meet my needs or compromise to a point that I am happy, I have walked away. Does that mean I have walked away to be completely alone in the world, no! Of course I still have a support network. Have I turned into a quivering mess, no! I choose to take each relationship as feedback, not just on them, but on myself. I could worry about who or what is going to be affected, such as my financial situation or my loved ones, I could imagine myself alone and sad, but I don't, I focus on what positives are likely to happen in the future as a result. I take my learnings, I say goodbye with love and respect, and I even maintain a sporadic contact that offers mutual support. My hope is that the UK can do the same, and certainly, as individuals, we can choose to find the positives in this change and be fundamental in making sure it is managed well.
The simple fact is, over half of the UK were unhappy, and as negativity is four times stronger than positivity, their unhappiness with the situation means that the situation cannot work for anyone in the long term. This result is not just about your relationship with the EU, but your relationship with each other.
This is an opportunity for us to get things right; to learn and to do things better.
How many people stick with what they know because it feels safe? The uncomfortable comfort-zone. Be honest, have you ever stuck in a relationship you are not completely happy in? What about a job you don't like? And when you finally leave, which is inevitable, you'll wish you'd done it years before.
I am proud to be British and brave as we move forward together and change with the times.